(Closed) Should I just move on?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I’d move out and move on. I understand him not wanting to give up a passion, but I can’t understand lack of compromise when he knows you’re miserable. I’d resent him wayyyyyy too much to ever enjoy that relationship.  

Who knows, maybe he’ll come to his senses and realize he made a mistake by letting you go! 

Post # 18
11381 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
minted :  

Well, that sure changes the picture.  He’d only have to get rid of one gun that he’s not using anyway?  In that case, he is being a selfish jackass.

I thought maybe he was an avid target shooter or something.

Post # 19
1630 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
leembee :  Ok thread jacking for a sec, but you compare guns to drugs??  Seriously?? I am not an American (Australian actually) but my Fiance and I both have gun licenses and guns.  I used to be a pretty great target shooter with sponsors and the like, and Fiance is an ethical hunter who provides us with fresh, free free-range meat.  I think it’s pretty dim witted to compare gun enthusiasts with drug enthusiasts.

 OP, I think a bit more info is needed on your mans hobby.  Is he just a collector, or is he a target shooter/hunter/in law enforcement?   I don’t understand why he would need to give up a gun due to moving 30 minutes away, is it a different county or is it due to moving from rural to city?  

On the surface of this, it does sound childish refusing to move due to having to give one gun up, however I feel like there is more at play.  

For reference,  I live with Fiance close to family and friends, and about 30minutes away from my work.  His work is over an hour away.  If he asked me to move in between our two jobs  I would refuse.  The areas are expensive and not very nice, they are far away from family and friends and he was the one who decided to take a job so far away from home, which is not so exclusive that he couldn’t find a similar job closer to home.  

Post # 20
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
minted :  Even as a gun enthusiast, what he’s basically saying is that one gun is more important to him than being with you is.  I understand that gun owners worry about their rights being chipped away and all that – it was a prime reason I didn’t move to California and my husband wanted out of there.  But one gun is nothing.  His priorities are f-ed up.  What else won’t he compromise on?  I’m willing to bet this is just a convenient excuse because he’s too lazy to drive any distance to work.  When my husband had nearly an hour’s ride to my 15 minutes, often in the dark, we decided to move further north so we’re both going a half hour.  An easy decision to make for his safety.  

I’d move on.

Post # 22
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

View original reply
minted :  nothing to add to your situation other than it seems to be a bummer for you 🙁

…but I’m curious, don’t most guns have detachable magazines? I mean, isn’t that where you put the bullets? So to fill it up again don’t you take it out and put it back in… thus making it detachable? 🤔

Post # 23
228 posts
Helper bee

Move on, reading your post was exhausting so I can only imagine what living it is like. Not to mention he refuses to compromise by giving up 1 of his many firearms to help you achieve a better work life balance. There is way better out there for you. 

Post # 24
3900 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017


Post # 25
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’m reading this and all I can picture is him stomping around with this “me me me” attitude. I don’t see him compromising on this at all and to me it’s a little bit ridiculous. You’re not asking him to give up his hobby entirely.. I guess what I would do in your situation would heavily depend on how amazing my relationship was outside of this. You say that he treats you really well which is amazing but I question just how much he prioritizes you if he can’t give an inch here.. 

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