(Closed) Should I keep checking up on my BM’s?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

From what you say, it kind of sounds like C is causing more problems than she is helping.  Your bridesmaids should be supporting you and helping you through this process, not causing more stress and anxiety?  You may want to sit down with C and figure out what her deal is, because if she’s going to be causing issues, it may be better to not have her as part of your bridal party.

I don’t think you need to keep checking on your bridesmaids, but you may want to make sure they’re getting done whatever it is they are supported to.  Maybe you can have your Maid/Matron of Honor do this though, so you don’t have to worry about it.  You just don’t want to get to the day of the wedding and find out they don’t have their dresses or shoes, you know?

If you think your Maid/Matron of Honor would do a good job and be all the ball, I’d assign her to keep track of the other three.  Let her know when their dresses need to be ordered by and what shoes you want them to get, etc.  Then she can keep on the others to make sure they do what they’re supposed to.  You shouldn’t have to badger your bridesmaids to make sure everything gets done.  They are there to support and help YOU, not the other way around.

Post # 4
179 posts
Blushing bee

How often do you keep in touch with C and D?

Well, if you don’t feel that you keep in touch enough with C and D then it wouldn’t hurt to try to reconnect with them again. Their attitudes toward your wedding may change if you spent some more face to face time with them.

To me, it would come off as being kind of selfish if you didn’t make much of an effort to keep tabs with me and when you did… it was only wedding related. Even though they don’t make much of an effort, you could still reach out to them as well. Maybe I could be wrong since I don’t fully know the dynamics of your relationship with them but you can see things from that perspective as well.

Why don’t you try to meet up with C and D and have a lunch together to see how they are doing?

Although. I do feel that Bridesmaid or Best Man C is just plain rude. If Bridesmaid or Best Man A and B are the ones doing most of the planning, let them do the decision making from now on. It’s REALLY hard to get everyone to agree on things so many let those 2 take the reins.



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