(Closed) Should I keep it or not? sorry, long….

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Lots of people upgrade their rings. Usually "upgrade" means "bigger and fancier," but really it’s just about getting something you like better. If you want to "upgrade" to a funky band off Etsy that you like better, by all means go for it. I don’t think that takes away the meaning…you give the rings their meaning. It’s like parents who rename their children a few months after they are born. They didn’t trade in for a new kid, just a new name. You won’t be getting a new marriage, just a ring that suits you better.

It might hurt your husband’s feelings if you say you want to sell the rings though, since they are something he probably put a lot of care and money into purchasing. Maybe the first thing to do would be to find a band of Etsy that you like better that you’d wear more often. If you have a replacement wedding ring the meaning of a wedding ring transfers onto the new rings and so he may be more amenable to selling the old ones then. 

Whether it’s worth it though also depends on how much money you would get. If you don’t mind my asking, how much are they worth?

Post # 4
Member
596 posts
Busy bee

if you sell your ring, do you think you will get a good price for it?  i would just wonder if it’s "worth it" to sell if you end up selling it for significantly less than the purchase price.

whether or not you will regret it probably depends on how sentimental you are so it’s hard for other people to answer this question for you. you did love the ring enough to want to buy it – is it mainly your economic situation that is making you reconsider the purchase or do you think you simply changed your mind in terms of taste and what you really want to wear on an everyday basis?  do you think it’s the pang of guilt from making a huge purchase that will go away?  if you found a job tomorrow, would you still consider selling the ring?  just some things to think about.  hope that helps!

Post # 5
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would be truly worried about how my husband would react!  I realize you think he would be relieved, instead of them just sitting in your jewelry box.  That is a whole onther issue!

I suppose if your husband is 100% behind you on this decision, then you should sell your ring and when you guys are more financially stable upgrade your wedding ring?  What are you going to tell everybody?

 Hope thing turnaround for you soon

Mercurialgirl 

 

Post # 6
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

While the price of gold is pretty high, the resale value of diamonds is not good, and a lot of the price you paid for your ring may be in the craftsmanship rather than in the materials.  A jewelry store that buys used jewelry is not often going to give you more than about 50% of the resale value, which will generally be less than you paid in the first place.  So regardless of the appraised value of your rings, unless you have a really good stone of 2 ct or more, you’re not likely to get a lot for them.  Sorry about that, it’s just the truth.  That’s part of why rings are generally non-returnable – only upgradable.  The store doesn’t really want even your diamonds back unless they are selling you something more expensive as part of the deal.

I guess I can’t really identify with your feelings about the rings either.  I mean, of course they essentially signify that you’re "taken."  That is supposed to be a good kind of feeling, not something that is somehow upsetting.  I wonder if part of how you’re feeling about the rings isn’t affected by your feelings about losing your job and not being able to find a new one, as well as thinking about starting a family and buying a house, which is a lot of other change in a short period of time. Maybe the ring somehow feels more like a conspicuous stamp of ownership since you’re not contributing financially anymore.  Or maybe you feel like since money is tight, it would be more appropriate to be wearing something less expensive?

I guess I also wonder if this is a fantastic time to be thinking about getting pregnant, if you feel like the rest of your life is kind of unsettled.  If you’re not working anyway it might be a convenient time to have a baby, but if it means that money is tight it might also be a pretty stressful time to start a family.

At any rate, unless you just deparately need the cash, I would wait a while and see how you feel about it when things have settled down.  After you find another job and have settled into it; after you have bought a house and moved in; maybe even after the baby comes.  After all, once you sell the rings, they are gone.  And if you decide that it was a mistake, you can certainly replace them, but it cost a lot more than what you got out of selling them.

Post # 7
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

I think a lot of my guy friends only want their wives to be happy.  If the wife is ok with selling the ring, I know almost all of them would be fine with her selling it.  We only really bought the rings in the first place, because that’s what the women we love expected.

Post # 8
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - Majestic Colonial Resort, Punta Cana

Everything aside, the two most important things in this situation, I feel, are how your ring makes you feel and how it makes your husband feel. It sounds to me like you would rather have something simpler but are feeling guilty about it because it seems everyone else out there has, and thinks you also should have, the ‘classic’ e-ring. I’d say forget everyone and do what makes you most happy. Don’t worry about justifying your decision by telling yourself or others it’s because the money would come in handy or whatever. One caveat – make sure your husband is 100% onboard. After all, it’s true – he did choose it and maybe he has a sentimental attachment to it that you don’t know about (who knows, maybe as he bought it, he envisioned passing it on to your daughters one day)? Be true to yourself but make the decision together. After all, you’re a team now.

Post # 9
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Before you sell your ring, I would stop trying to get pregnant. That is a REALLY bad idea. Not only is having a child expensive, which I’m sure you know, you’ll need good health care and you should have as little stress in your life as possible while you’re trying and while you’re pregnant. IMO, this is not the time to get pregnant. I got pregnant on my honeymoon and even though we were fine money wise, just the stress of adjusting to married life was a lot.

As far as selling your ring, I would suggest that you and your husband being 100% on the same page before you do anything. 

Post # 10
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Like others said- if you sell the rings- they are gone for good.

If you think you might regret selling them- don’t!  

Down the road- if you and your husband become 100% sure that you don’t want them, then you can sell them.  But if you sell them now and regret it later- you’ll have no recourse.

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

It seems to me that your rings represent a sense of guilt.  Like they are a reminder of time when you both were contributing as a couple towards a common goal.  It sounds like with the lost of your job that you feel guilty about not contributing.  When you got married it was for better or for worse and while you may be at a low point there are more betters to come.

What did the rings represent to you when you first got them?  Why has the feeling passed?

I think often our rings are a component of social/life situations. The ring is definitely a symbol of "taken" socially, but who wouldn’t want to be "taken" by the love of their life and want to wear something as symbol of this love.  While your life situation involves being at home searching for a new job and now taunts you as a money pit, it may change to a very demanding work envinronment at some point and represent love bringing calm to an otherwise stressful situation.

The point is you can sell it, but will you miss it in a month, in a year, in 20 years.  Obviously you can sell the rings, but it wouldn’t be a good return monetarily.  You could reuse the metal in the ring to create your unique band and sell the diamonds if the rings just don’t fit your style anymore. 

The options are limitless, but if you just want to sell them for the money, how about reworking your family budget instead (ie landline vs. cellphone), there are plenty of people who are in similar situations, but you should be grateful for what you do have…The rest will work itself out.

Good Luck!

Post # 12
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I know you feel like you need the money now, but you could sell the rings tomorrow, and get a new job next week…will you still feel like it was the right decision to sell the rings? Especially if you get a lot less than what you paid for?

I would just wonder how you’ll feel about this 10 or 20 years down the line, when you are financially stable again.

Post # 13
Bee
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Al Cielo / La Laguna

My Future Mother-In-Law ran into this situation a few months ago.  I am sorry say that she did sell them.  She regrets it now because it represents a special bond and time in thier lives that is now gone.

I should probably weigh in as a daughter too.  My moms wedding set is one of the most precious things she has left of my father.  It was a special symbol that showed her how much he loved her.  He passed away 2 years ago and it will be very special to me to wear them down the asile when I am married.

Post # 14
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

You’re not the only one who has thought about selling their ring. 

You may come to find later down the road that you wish you had your ring, whether it be sentimental or something you can pass onto your children.  You may decide you want to wear it again. You’ll be surprised how fast you grow out of certain things like etsy. 

Also, any financial issues you’re having now will soon pass and then you may wish you hadn’t sold it. Resale value isn’t good at all anyway on jewelry.  If it was worth buying in the first place, then there must have been good reason for it. 

Even if you think you’ll never miss it again…you’ll be surprised how much it might mean to your daughter or daughter in law. I had a ton of junky jewelry that I "outgrew" from past relationships and such. I was about to sell the metal for cash when my husband’s 5 yr old niece said she wanted a ring with a stone in it like mine. I was able to dig into my stuff and give her a ring with a purple stone in it. It meant nothing to me, but meant the world to her. 

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