(Closed) Should I kick my Bridesmaid out of my Bridal party?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

I personally think any bride who EXPECTS their bridesmaids to help with favors and invitations and whatnot aren’t being polite. Ask them sure, but it’s not their job to make your wedding run smoothly. If that’s the mainghost you might consider getting a coordinator. 

 

Is there any reasontobrute hearsay dinner was so far in advance? Maybe she was planning on attending it the night before?

Post # 19
Member
1329 posts
Bumble bee

Hey,

Please don’t kick your sister out of your wedding. But talk to here asap! You want as little stress as possible and what creates more: the evil eye stares from your sister, the drama with your mama for kicking her out, re-printing the programs etc…

or just talking to her, telling her this is NOT okay, and you are hurt. It is too late to give her a responsibility card, but  Iwould definitely give her something for the wedding day so she knows not to take off when the photog is snapping.

family is family-her decision is immature to not show for things, FOR SURE, but this is something you both will remember forever…if you give her the boot. And one day, you may regret it, when the two of you are having babies and chatting about husbands, as you get older.

Post # 20
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, you only have a few days left. I’d just suck it up. Yes you want her to be more involved, but she doesn’t have to be. Making favors and invitations aren’t required of her, just because she is your bridesmaid. I get that she should probably help, but you need to lower your expectations of her. She’s only 21 and there are other things more important than your wedding. Plus kicking her out would damage your relationship. Talk to her and let you know how you feel, but it should NOT be a “shape up or you’re out” kind of talk

Oh and the rehearsal is not that big of a deal. Granted it’s more important than something like putting together favors, but I’m pretty sure she’s successfully walked in a straight line before. Missing it isn’t the end of the world. 1 of my BMs and 2 of the Groomsmen aren’t making it to the rehearsal (and we are in America By The Way and it’s still not a big deal). 

Post # 21
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@KimKimmieKim:  This is your SISTER–I am sorry, you have a point to be upset with her and your nerves are probably on edge but you’re being a brat right now

Post # 22
Member
2582 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

“It should be an honor for them to take part of something special. “

 

That attitude right there is probably why you’re running in to problems. The feelings of “honor”, if there are any, should actually be the other way around… as in “wow my sister is actually willing to help me out with my wedding stuff? I’m honored”

Kicking your own sister out of your wedding 6 days before – well, your choice I guess – but people WILL be talking about it.  Don’t think for a second that people won’t be whispering, asking why she’s not in the bridal party, and asking her what happened…if she even shows up. And if she’s too upset to even show up, people will be asking where she is.  So my point is, by kicking her out, you will take attention away from your marriage, and putting unwanted attention on whatever dramaz are going on between you and your sister, that you likely won’t give a crap about 2 weeks from now anyway.   More than likely, you will end up feeling petty and ridiculous when you look at your wedding photos years from now and remember why your sister isnt’ in them.

Post # 23
Member
9 posts
Newbee

View original reply
@sylvia.riggle:  I think brat is being a little harsh. Obviously there should have been clearer communication earlier on. If the sister didn’t want to help with all the little details instead of playing phone tag she should have just been honest. And although I would be annoyed I would let that go and let her stand up with me. But missing the rehearsal to spend time with her boyfriend who she could probably see any old time and not having the guts to tell the bride directly (because I’m sure she knows shes in the wrong) is unexcusable and she should be thrown out. That takes some nerve to want to stand next to the bride knowing how much stress you’ve caused leading up to the big day.

Post # 24
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

In the big scheme of things, your wedding is one day, but your relationship with your sister is lifetime. Talk to her about it, but I wouldn’t kick her out of the wedding 6 days before the wedding. Just realize you can’t depend on her, and make her role in the wedding party as minimal as possible.  

Is her boyfriend invited to the wedding? If you can, invite him to the rehersal so she doesn’t have to make a choice between the rehersal and spending time with him.

You’re getting down to the wire as far as wedding planning goes, and your stress level is probably rising higher and higher… This is probably why you’re considering kicking her out, but ultimately, kicking her out is not going to lower your stress level, but it could really hurt your relationship with your sister, which will ultimately add to your stress the day of your wedding. 

Post # 25
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Talk to her and tell her how you feel about it- invite the boyfriend – let it go.  She’s your sister and ultimately, this is most likely her immaturity talking.  She’s going to regret it later when she gets married one day and realizes what she did to you…that’ll be punishment enough.

Post # 28
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

shes young, in love and being silly – i wouldnt kick her out 6 days before because its not worth the damage it will do.  smile and be the bigger person – sometimes family lets you down but in the scope of things, invites and dinners are not something to battle over.  goodluck!

Post # 29
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

Get over it and be the bigger person. This is how people end up estranged and not talking for 40 years. She’s younger, right? That means it’s up to you to set the better example.

Post # 30
Hostess
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

No, you shouldn’t. She’s your sister. 

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