(Closed) Should I kick out this bridesmaid and how???

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
895 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If she has flaked out on you now, she would probably flake on your wedding day. I would talk to her and let her know you know she’s busy but has to step it up or ask her to step down as a bridesmaid but maybe have her do something else in your wedding that doesn’t take much effort?

Post # 4
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

This is going to sound so mean…. and dont take it the wrong way please… but it sounds like she really doesnt like you. Why would you want someone in your wedding that obviously isnt close to you. You have to keep these pictures for the rest of your life!

I would try and talk to her…if you cant then send her an email or text and let her know due that you would like to be friends but it obvious that she is really busy and cant commit to the wedding.

Good luck!


Post # 5
159 posts
Blushing bee

4 years is a long time…but I dont think she doesnt like you though…because you still do things as a couple. Some people are like that – they feel lost without a spouse nearby , or feel like they will do or say the wrong thing/mess up etc.   BUT –

Not to give her an out – but right now shes 5 months pregnant. Shes so full of hormones that they could make a premarin factory out of her…by the time your wedding Happens she will be in a lot better position to be a person. really. lol

In the first 5 months, She has been the barf queen, pees continously, feels fat, her skin probably has THOSE issues, watching her stretch marks stretch, cant fit into any of her sexy clothes anymore, and here you are, non barfy, can hold your pee, you are beautiful and getting married and are sexy to boot. No wonder shes going to hate you a bit…but most likely shes just getting used to watching her body change and dealing with the hormones – it gets easier as the pregnancy goes along, until the two weeks before your due – then you are willing to go bowling to get the kid out…i would know…

IMO Start again, but this time ask her where you can meet up with her  because you would love to spend time with her to get to KNOW her – even if its just a few hours, AND that you understand being pregnant can be not the easiest thing…I bet she will respond well to some pregnancy compassion!

Post # 6
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think there is something more than just being pregnant. I have a friend who is five months pregnant, she is barf queen, pees continously, feels fat, and cant fit into any of her sexy clothes anymore, BUT has been there for me, has gone to wedding shows with me, has tried on bridesmaids dresses with me and hangs out with me.

I would talk to her and ask her if she wants to be in the wedding.

Post # 7
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It doesn’t sound like the two of you had the type of friendship where you should really be surprised that she’s not “there for you.” I’m not sure what your expectations are. Perhaps you should lower them to that of, “I like this girl, and she will carry some flowers and look pretty in her dress on my wedding day. She will be fun to hang out with both now and in the future.”

Frankly, I’m finding it hard to find anything that she did wrong, other than be busy. We’re all busy. Some people are better about making time for others. Such is life.

You said that she’s your FI’s best friend‘s wife. It might put strain on their (the boys’) relationship if you go so far as to kick her out of your wedding party.

I would try to remember that your bridesmaids are not your wedding slaves. They don’t necessarily have to do anything other than stand by your side on your wedding day.

Please do not kick her out of your wedding. Since she hasn’t done anything overtly mean or horrible to you, you are the only one who will end up looking bad.

Post # 9
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Update us, but I think you should politely let her go.

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