(Closed) Should i leave?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
6960 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Bee, this guy sounds like a major asshole. Do you want to raise your kids in this environment? Where he’s constantly belittling you and talking down to you and calling you stupid? 

Post # 18
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

Of course things are going to change when you have kids. Heck, we just got a dog and things already changed. We have less alone time (obviously since Mr. Doggy is around us all the time and he has his little scheduled feeding and walk times), so I imagine having two kids is going to be even more hectic. That’s what having a family is like though. Your boyfriend hasn’t realized it yet.

Also, too late to say and now you know, but you should never expect someone to marry you just because they said it. And from the way you describe your boyfriend, it sounds like he is just hanging marriage over your head so that you can be compliant. He seems really full of himself. I would get really angry if someone talked to me that way. I wouldn’t even be with a guy like that!

Post # 19
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
balloffurr :  to answer your OP given all of your updates:

Yes. You should leave. 

Post # 20
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I just want to start out by saying im so sorry he has made you feel like this. He obviously controls the relationship and guess what it takes TWO people to make a decision about marriage. You don’t deserve that at all. My advice would be to leave he sounds like he is verbally abusive. Asking about marriage after 8yrs and Children is not stupid at all its actual makes more sense. I think you should walk away from this relationship because he is just not marriage material! Good luck and Chin up! ☹

Post # 21
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

Leave leave leave!!!

This man does not want to marry you and never did. He told you what you wanted to hear to get you off his back for a while, and when confronted by that fact he got pissed you caught on. He sounds like a piece of dirt. 

Take your children and LEAVE! Good luck bee!

Post # 22
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

View original reply
balloffurr :  So you shared your feelings and he did not value them. Your “best friend.” THIS PERSON DOES NOT FEEL THE SAME ABOUT YOU, BEE. 

Post # 24
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Is there nowhere you can stay sooner than 4 weeks? I would just go and sort out the child sharing later. If you tell him you are leaving then he may beg and plead with you to stay. You really do need to escape the bully.

Post # 25
Member
10275 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I would just go while he is at work. Otherwise he will manipulate you into staying.

Post # 27
Member
3431 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’m so sorry. He sounds like a real jerk. Leave him as soon as you are able. Make your plans with your sister and get out then. I don’t see why you have to tell him first unless there is some law about you taking them out of the country.

 

Post # 29
Member
10983 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
balloffurr :  

LEAVE.

Find a way, go to a women’s shelter, anyplace.  Just LEAVE.

This guy is a HORRIBLE role model for your child.

As for why he ‘changed’ after the baby–he finally felt he really *had* his victim, so he could let the mask slip.

OP, no halfway sane human being will tell you anything but leave.  And get some therapy for yourself–you turned yourself into worse than a doormat.  It doesn’t have to be this way.

Post # 30
Member
10983 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
balloffurr :  

Do not tell him *anything* about your plans.  He deserves no courtesies and guys like him can turn very dangerous very fast.

 

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