(Closed) Should I leave him?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I don’t care if you’re married, unless you’re consenting, this is what is called RAPE.

Post # 4
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

that is rape. he has no right to violate you like that even if you’re married. the fact that he doesn’t seem to give a crap about your feelings in this is so disturbing that i can’t even put it into words. i think you need to seek out a support system…(friends, family) and get away from this man asap. 

Post # 5
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Even if you’re married, it is still considered rape to force yourself upon your spouse.   I’m guessing that there are other issues at play too?

Can you get into counseling?   What he is doing is not right, nor should you have to feel ashamed of what he is doing.   You will never want to do it again with him if he feels like he can just take it anyway.

I’m so sorry and wish I could give you a huge hug.

Post # 6
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It is indeed rape. No means no whether you are married or not. I think I would tell him that, point to the law, and tell him if it happens again, you’re gone.

Mean it if you say it, though.

Post # 6
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

WTF. This is fucked up. Martial rape is NOT okay. Also I’m assuming by pleasuring you mean you wake up and he’s masturbating over you. This is sick behavior. Men don’t just do that to their wives. I won’t go into your sex life right now (at least the normal parts of it), but I would say that even if you were having intimacy problems (hey–I don’t know the whole story), him raping you in your sleep is NOT THE SOLUTION. There’s something more going on to this, I know it. I can’t just be that simple.

Post # 6
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I agree with karatechick27.

 

Post # 7
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@shouldIgo: This sounds unacceptable to me. It almost sounds like rape, if not rape, as he is forcing you to have sex with him. I think this is abuse and I think you need to get out. I am so sorry you are going though this! Maybe talking with a counselor may help as well. You should never be mistreated like this. You are not an object for his pleasure. You are an important person who needs to be treated as such.

Post # 8
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

He is repeatedly raping you.  In my opinion, rape is a divorce situation.

 

I can’t imagine a situation in which this is ok, but if he honestly believes it is/ grew up somewhere where it is legal and socially acceptable, he needs to understand that in many places, he can be put in jail for what he is doing.

 

Good luck.  I’m so sorry you are going through this.

Post # 9
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I agree with the other ladies.  Unless you have consented, it is rape.

Post # 10
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Absolutely disturbing behavior.  Has he ever expressed such behavior before?!

Post # 11
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

@DesireeAnne: Agreed. What was he like BEFORE you got married? Did you wait for marriage to have sex? How often are you having sex? I’m not condoning what he’s doing–he needs major help, but like I said before, I think there’s a whole lot more at play, here.

Post # 12
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow not right at all. YOu guys should maybe seek counseling before ending your marriage

Best of luck to you

Post # 14
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee

Wow.  I have nothing really different to say from the Previous Posters…Giant hugs to you!

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