- 7 years ago
I am an active member on this board, but this post is too personal to post under my username. I’m really emotionally and physically broken and not sure how much longer I can stay in my marriage. I love my husband, when he is good, but those moments are few and far between. He brings me to tears and frustration daily and I’m lost as what to do…I think I know what I should do, but I don’t believe in divorce, we got married for a reason, and I have my son to consider…Sorry this is might be long, but here is what goes on daily…
My husband is the biggiest jerk I ever met. He wasn’t like this when we first met or even right before we were married, but now is the most self consumed individual ever. He does not give me any money for anything. I work very part time because we have a young baby and he has severe allergies, does not sleep and is a lot of work for ME. Darling Husband does not help with him at all. The baby cries and Darling Husband will not get up to help. There have been times where I have been exhausted and did not her him crying for Darling Husband to tell me later that DS cried for hours and “why didn’t I get him” instead of him coming up stairs to help DS.
My husband works, comes home, watches TV, goes to sleep, get’s up in the morning, cooks HIMSELF food, goes to the gym, showers and goes to work. Does the same thing every day. I interact with him for about 5 minutes each morning and evening. Darling Husband sleeps on the sofa and basically resufes to sleep in bed with me. Claims he can’t stand the sound of the baby nursing. Darling Husband also does not let me get near him most of the time. Tells me to “go away”, “get out of here”, etc. It hurts me because I just want him to love me in return. Months will go by between times that we have sex and he says he “doesn’t feel like it” or “he is tired”. I am tired too, but feel like we should be having sex more than once every 2.5 months as newlyweds.
Like I said I only work part time so I don’t make much. I work to pay my college loans basically, but I also have to pay for all of DS’s medical bills, all of his clothing, my own food, and Darling Husband thinks I should be paying half our rent and some of our other bills, but that is impossible for me right now and I know it pisses him off that i don’t. I seriously do not have money to feed myself and thankfully my parents feed me everyday because they know my husband expects me to shop for myself, etc. My mom also buys most everything else I need because she knows I cannot afford anything and my husband puts that added pressure on me.
Currently I cannot drive and Darling Husband has been dropping me off at my parents when he goes to work and they have been taking me to work and back home. He does complain when he does this. Today he decided that he could not take the 5 minutes it takes to drop me off (we live right down the street from their house) out of his busy schedule and when I went to get the babies things he left without saying a word! Well actually he sat in the car in the driveway for 20 minutes and when I went outside backed out of the driveway!
He makes comments about the way I look saying I have an “egg head” etc all the time. I got him a nice gift that I really could not afford for Christmas, and i know he is going to say it is stupid or he doesn’t want it etc, so I don’t know why I bothered. I bought all of our son’s Christmas presents…Darling Husband has literally only paid for the following for our son: his crib, dresser, 1 of his car seats, and ergo carrier, and L&D bills…That is it! He has only been to 3 of DS doctor visits. DS goes to the doctor a few times a month and specialist after specialist. I travel hours to see his allergist and yet he cannot come or take an interest.
I fear what would happen if he had him in his care because he does not know anything about his allergies or care to learn. When we found out about them and I had to restrict certain foods, he decides to eat nothing but those foods! So frustrated. He’s coming…gotta go….