(Closed) Should I leave my husband?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We can’t tell you to leave your Husband.  That is a decision you should make on your own.

However, I would NEVER put up with ANY of that.  But that’s me. 

 

Post # 4
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Leave him, take half his stuff and get alimony. You deserve way better than that.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this!

Post # 5
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This sounds horrible.  You deserve better.

Post # 6
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’d reccomend letting your family in on this if they don’t know already, and letting them take you in for shelter and support. There are a lot of issues going on here, that will not be fixed with a change of heart kind of thing. If he is not willing to work on himself, then I think its best to get a divorce and move on. You are pretty much a single mom but walking on eggshels.

I’m so sorry! I am praying for you!

Post # 7
Member
2406 posts
Buzzing bee

If I were in your situation, yes, I’d leave him. That’s not a marriage.

Post # 9
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

I agree. We can’t tell you what to do. But I can tell you that he is no husband. Maybe in name, but you are basically room-mates. He does not support you, you are struggling even though you do have a husband, and he seems to be very checked out of the relationship and distant from his family. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Post # 10
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

How horrible.  I am so terribly sorry that you and your son are going through this sort of treatment.  As a PP said, we can’t tell you to leave your husband, but personally – I would NEVER stay in situation such as this.  Especially with a child now.

I wish you and your son the best of luck.  I can only imagine how you must feel.

Post # 11
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

this is beyond horrible. I would not be able to live with any of this.

 

Post # 12
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

All I can say is WTF? 

First off, is your son his? (sorry to ask).  His issues sound like he has MAJOR jealousy issues with baby.  Was DS planned or an accident? 

I agree with PP, we can’t TELL you to leave as that’s your personal decision to make, but you don’t deserve this life, neither does your baby.  You don’t beleive in divorce you say…but do you beleive in abuse?  Becasue that’s what you are going through right now.   

Post # 13
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Since you have a close relationship with your parents can you talk to them? What about staying with your parents for a little while and going to counseling with Darling Husband. Was it like this before the baby was born? Did you ever have any discussion about money before having a child? I just didn’t know if it’s always been like this or just since you had your son.

Post # 14
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with SuperKate, thats not a marriage, thats not even a friend….. I think you need to have a long talk with your family and come up with a game plan with them for you and your son’s future. *Big Hug*

Post # 15
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I can’t tell you what to do but I would absolutely leave him.  I am so sorry you are in this situation because it sounds absolutely HORRIBLE.  Have you talked with your parents about it?

Post # 16
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

A discussion board can’t answer that question.  But what I can say is that while you may have a marriage license, to me you don’t have a marriage.

ETA: I agree with the PP, he sounds resentful of the baby.  Would a separation help?  Could you move into your parents home?  Have you proposed counseling?  How did you handle fiances prior to the wedding/birth of son?  Did you discuss how you’d handle them?  Has your husband ever taken care of your son?  Does he act like this around other kids?  Does he do shopping for the food that he cooks for himself and what would happen if you cooked it for a meal everyone?  When did the lack of engagement between the two of you happen?

ETA2: Talk to a lawyer.  Your state may require spousal support (which is more than you are currently getting from him).

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