Sorry… I had to leave quickly…. continuing on… I was 28 and married myself. My mum found a tape that my father recorded having sex with someone else. My mum was devestated but still wouldn’t leave. She sat there crying and I had to go pick her up and tell my father that she would be leaving him. He didn’t care, but him looking like he was the bad parent he cared about.
A few years later.. my mum is happy, safe, and goes on holidays a lot. My brother, mum and I are very close.
To honestly tell you the truth, if you left with the kid, he would be relieved. My father was never around much, but I think he would like to see your kid once a year. He sees the other kids (other women) about that much. I haven’t spoken to him since I took my mum out of the house. No great loss.
There are a few things you can do. Take action.
Find those divorce papers that your husband hid. Make a photoscopy or just take them directly to a legal aide. If the papers are fair in that you get half/half. Sign them, he might have already signed them. Keep a copy. SEND THEM OFF!
Have a get away plan. Speak to your parents before you say ANYTHING to him. Get them to find you a safe haven. Maybe a relative in another state. The plan will be to stay there awhile. You can do this. You have a lot of people supporting you. Even in another state 🙂 (Bees)
Make sure you consider in your head what you will pack, before you pack it. Give yourself 1 hour after he leaves just in case he returns because he forgot something. 2nd hour pack really fast. Loan money from your parents to pay for your ticket and have your ticket ready before you leave.
Grab a taxi and leave. Make sure you have enough money for it. Make sure your parents have an alibi, because you don’t want them to be hassled when you leave. BUT I am sure they can handle themselves. Leave the divorce papers on the table and write that you have sent them through. Leave it that way. Short and sweet. Don’t give him anything else to play around in his mind.
Get all the divorce papers ready. Know what time he comes home, tell your parents to wait outside in the car just a few moments. Leave the baby at your mums house earlier on that day with all your bags there as well. Tell him it’s been a long time. This is what he wanted from the start, and that the relationship isn’t working. You are happy to have him see his son. Ask him if he is thinks it’s a good idea that you take the baby. I will be very suprised if he disagrees with you. Get your dad to come in about 5 minutes after he arrives. For support. Turn around and leave.
Give it some time and if he hassles you, leave your parents to that safe haven if you have one. Other wise you will need to come to an agreement on times when he will want to see the baby.
Meet in a location, like a shopping center and have your dad take the baby there not you. Don’t give the baby to him. After a few times of seeing the baby, he will make excuses and won’t show up as often.
This is just some ways I thought you could take action. This back and forth with people putting up posts aren’t helping you. Both paths are hard. You could do this now or in twenty years – but i can assure you if he isn’t willing to see a psychologist you still will be sad. My mum and I are an example of this. Learn from others.
Only you change this scene in your life. No one will do it for you. You have everyone behind you, supporting you ***HUGS***
What will you do?