(Closed) Should I leave my husband?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 257
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

However hard it may be, from what you have told us, I think deep down you know it’s right to get out of there, for the sake of you and your son.

Do not be the victim anymore, and don’t let your helpless son be either!

Post # 258
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh, and I forgot to add: The term “special needs” is not derogatory, and no one meant it in a negative way.  It was simply a clear, concise way to sum up your son’s allergies and the special care he requires because of it.

Post # 259
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I am saying you’re backpedaling, and you can get as mad at me as you want.  

You opened your post with descriptions of your husband as “the biggiest jerk I ever met”– go back and read the first post in this thread.  Then read what you just wrote.  The two posts sound like they’re about two entirely different people. Now that push comes to shove, you’ve gotten your anger out about your abusive situation, but you don’t plan on leaving and are just going to continue to justify your husband’s actions and rationalize your decision to stay there. 

Obviously, nothing we say can change your mind.  You would have already left via the wonderful advice you’ve been given here– you’ve gotten detailed plans of action, step by step instructions, and tons of reassurance that leaving is the right thing to do. But you’re staying.  

I hope you have a great life, but I’m done giving advice to someone who isn’t going to listen.

Post # 260
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This thread is getting more and more bizarre. Why ask for advice if you don’t want advice? I’m not subscribed, but I keep checking back in hopes that OP will finally let us know that she has left this horrible situation, but that doesn’t seem like it will happen.

Post # 261
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My cousin stayed in a bad situation for (IMO) too long. She considered her dedication to him to be the right and righteous thing – for herself and also for their child to grow up with her father and mother together. We urged her to leave many times – every time he would push her, every time he would verbally abuse her, every time he’d emotionally scar her and make her feel like less of a person. But she was dedicated, faithful, and steadfast in her goal of family.

A commendable, beautiful goal. You said for better or for worse and you meant it.

I won’t tell you what to do, but here’s the rest of the story:

At the end of the day, he ended up being divorced (wife 1), currently married (wife 2 + child),  plus my cousin and their child, had a house in forclosure, ran out on 3 leases, moved my cousin and their baby out of state, and ended up being the same dirty, lying, CHEATER he always was. One night he told her he “didn’t care about her or HER kid and she could go live with her mom” So she did. And she’s been happy as a clam ever since. Her daughter is happier, her job is better, her family is stronger – and that was her real goal.

Now, I don’t know your husband or you, he’s probably none of the above things. But the bad things he is now… honey, they don’t change (Tigers don’t change their stripes, remember that saying?)

Another good one is, “The simplest answer is to act” What’s meant to be, whether it’s what you WANT it to be or not, whatever is meant to be will be. IMO, you should take a leap of faith right back to your parent’s house and see what happens next.

Your other option would be to stay and work work work TOGETHER to make your goal a reality. Maybe a couples retreat? That’s fun, romantic, and helpful! If he’s feeling the same way as you, broken up, then there is hope for him yet 😉

Either way, Merry Christmas Eve and I hope you get everything you want because you should! This thread did turn into a ton of posts, but it’s a sore subject for a lot of people who love someone who is in, has been in, would like to get out of a tough situation. <3

Post # 262
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

View original reply
@brokendown:  I am not sure what you lashing out at us is all about, but honestly you sound a bit cray-cray insulting the readers who are caring for you while staying with your abusive husband.  I do think you are right about one thing.  We are giving this thread too much time.  You have ask for advice you won’t take and you ARE making excuses.  We are all busy women and honestly this thread is starting to feel like trying to push a rope up at hill.  We are not getting through.  I am out.

Post # 264
7288 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Maybe its time to ask for this thread to be closed?

Nobody wants to see you hurt or frusterated.


Post # 265
10846 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

At the request of the OP this thread is being closed.

The topic ‘Should I leave my husband?’ is closed to new replies.

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