Post # 1
This day just went from perfectly fine to awful. Darling Husband has an awful job — everything fromt he actual work to his supervisors. We haven’t had much luck finding something else, so he has been there for 15 months. He called and said he had a letter of resignation ready and it wasn’t fair for me to tell him he couldn’t quit. FInancially, we can’t live on 1 income and I’m worried that if he quits his job, the prospect of finding another one in this economy is even worse. I’m frustrated about his one-sided decision making, but I know he would be happier if he quit. I just don’t know what to do. We could pay our bills (mostly) but we have basically no safety net to speak of. I just don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
Honestly, I think it’s a really bad move to quit a job when you can’t live off of the one remaining income. Jobs are hard to come by these days, and the market is so unstable, that he may have a hard time finding another one. Plus, when they ask you why you left your last job, you have to explain that you quit and justify why it was so bad that you couldn’t make it work.
Post # 4
I have suffered through jobs that left me crying every day because I didn’t have another job lined up. Tell him he can quit….when he has another job to go to.
Post # 5
I agree, I don’t think it’s a smart move. Can he apply to some jobs before he quits?
Post # 6
This wouldn’t fly with us. After dealing with two years of being unemployed and struggling to live off of my income there is no way we would risk either of us being umemployed like that.
Post # 7
He can’t quit unless he has other prospects lined up. Does he not realize the stress this would put on your marriage?
Post # 8
The job market is really hard right now, he needs to start looking for and applying to new jobs ASAP.
Hopefully he can find something quickly and leave, but personally I’ve been looking for work for the past 6 months with no luck and many other bees have been looking for even longer with no luck.
What is it about the job that’s bad? Is anything actually dangerous?
Post # 9
It seems completely irresponsible of him to quit working without having another job lined up to go straight into. It seems immature. Who loves their job all the time? That’s why it’s called work. I’m sure you also have days you want to quit. My ex did that to me, once – came home and said, “I quit today.” And I said, “You need to call your boss and tell him you were out of your mind, apologize and beg for your job back. Or you can pack up; I’m not supporting you or our household alone.” He did that and luckily got his job back the next day. But still, he’s an ex for that amongst many other reasons. Putting all the financial burden on you is completely unfair. That said, I guess you can’t really stop him from doing whatever he wants to do. Good luck with it . . . I feel for you.
Post # 10
Yeah this would not fly with me. He is an adult and has adult responsibilities, it is not ok to quit a job with no prospects when you have bills to pay. Unless you are being like sexually harassed you need to suck it up.
Post # 11
I know it sucks to work a job you don’t like, but I agree with the PPs. Sometimes as an adult, we all have to do things we don’t like to do. This is a very unpredictable economic time and there are a lot of people out there looking for jobs–it may take longer than he expects to find something new.
Obviously you can’t force him to do anything, but as a married couple these are decisions that affect both of you–you should have a say in major decisions. If he hates it, he should definitely look for something else, but it’s very risky to quit with nothing lined up.
Post # 12
It’s nothing dangerous — just dealing with a lot of angry, angry people, both in his responsibilities and his co-workers. It is not a happy place. He has a hard time not taking that to heart. He wants to pursue a different career, but has a hard time balancing that focus with wanting to just get out. I told him he needed to have something lined up. I messaged one of his co-workers that he is friends with to talk to him. Hopefully he won’t take any action, it is just hard for me to not feel like the bad guy. Thanks for the comments, everyone.
Post # 13
Sometimes it sucks to be an adult. The two of you have responsibilities. It would be an unfair burden on you for him to quit without lining up another job first.
“We could pay our bills (mostly)” isn’t enough. Your creditors would be on your case and your credit rating will be affected for a long time.
Post # 14
@hosannac: You are not the bad guy. He needs to look for a new job but he can’t put you in a situation where you have to struggle to support the two of you while he looks for work. That would be a bit selfish of him.
As long as going to work isn’t putting him in danger then he needs to try and disconnect a bit from the anger around him and put his energy into looking for a new job that will make him happier and more fulfilled.
Post # 15
I’ve spent a long time working in a job I hate, one that I honestly struggle to get out of bed for! I talk myself into going to work everyday, as stupid as I’m sure that sounds. But I keep going to work because we need the money, if he doesnt have something to fall back on and you need the money, as horrible as it is, he needs to stick at it. That being said it is just my opinion, I don’t know your situation. I hope he finds something soon, it’s a horrible situation to be stuck in. I literally just got a new job today, starting next month!
Post # 16
it’s a well known fact that it’s easier to get a new job when you have a job.
if you can’t support yourselves on one income, then it’s a ridiculously bad idea for him to quit. you could get yourself into debt that could follow you around for a long time. it could cause bad tension in your relationship. if things are tense now, imagine how much worse they could be if that debt sets in and he can’t find anything.
also, your last post kind of makes it sound like he’s not trying very hard to find a new job. can he apply at a job agency to at least find a temporary placeholder job? maybe something part time so he has the freedom to pursure a new career?