(Closed) Should I let her come to the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wouldn’t invite her ONLY if my Fiance agreed to it.  It is his best man.  If he was 100% on board, I wouldn’t let her come. 

Post # 4
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would leave it up to the Fiance since it’s his friend and hope that he would take my feelings into account. 

Post # 5
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Pones587: theres a whole lot of toxic involved here- I would talk it over with Fiance and see how he feels about his friend acting this way after so many years of friendship- honestly? I wouldnt mind them both not coming, but you cant control those types of things. If you really dont want her there, dont have her there, anything else is on the best man because he rather be with his “socially inept” girlfriend (nicest way I could put what Im thinking right now) than stand up for his friend.

Post # 6
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Do you really think the Best Man wouldn’t come if his girlfriend couldn’t?  That would be a really shitty friend.  But I agree to let your Fiance decide.  You absolutely have the right to not have her there, she’s not even an aquantence, just a bitch!

Post # 7
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Bellanouva: this.

I would have my Fiance do the talking with his best man, though.  But I’d be pretty pissed at my Fiance if he didn’t stand up for me and tell his best man to leave the girl home.  If your Fiance isn’t going to take YOUR feelings into consideration, I’d be more worried about that dynamic than the best man and the bipolar girlfriend (who, I hope, is on meds and getting treatment for that illness).

 

Post # 10
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would not let her come. I don’t think I’d leave it up to Fiance only because he didn’t witness her crazy incident with the drink first hand, so maybe he’s not fully grasping what a nut she is. What if she “accidently” spills a drink on your wedding gown? She seems like too volatile of a person to risk having her there when you a) can’t stand her and b) even strict etiquette does not require inviting someone who is not married or living with the invited guest. I would def tell Best man, sorry, we’ll try and mend fences with her later but not on our wedding day. 

Post # 11
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Pones587: yikes.  NOT GOOD.  My Fiance works at a local institution (aka “hospital”) that deal with mentally ill patients.  Many are court ordered, but not all, so I’ve heard a lot of what can and does happen with the mentally ill when they are off their meds.  (my dad has ALSO worked at the same place for the past 33 years and I’ve learned more from my Fiance than my dad, lol).

good luck and I’m sorry you two are dealing with this. 🙁

Post # 13
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Zinzerena: totally agree here- thats exactly what I think (and the OP is on the same page I think as well?) If the best man does that, hes just a sucky friend.

OP I hope the chat goes well- I hope the Best man realizes how much of an arse he is being here (especially if gf is not on meds…thats a little scary to be honest).

Neither you or your Fiance need friends like these otherwise- toxic is exactly that…it corrodes everything!

 

Post # 14
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

IMO, I would not let her come to the wedding. That’s all you need to worry about is some crazy B*TCH getting drunk and belligerent and spill her drink all over your gown or start a fight with another guest. She is volitle, and you can’t have that at your wedding. I know it means your Fiance could possibly lose his friend, but if the Bridesmaid or Best Man was a true friend, he wouldn’t threaten to not come or participate in the wedding because his girlfriend doesn’t know how to behave herself out in public.  

Post # 15
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Waves2: if the gf has been diagnosed as bipolar, then that is an actual ILLNESS, not JUST behavior (though that’s also a part of it, definitely!).  other than that, I completely agree!

 

@Pones587: ya know…. now that you mention it…. I’d be wanting a plastic guard up, like they use at buffets! LOL!  Or have a shield nearby that you can hold up in case something “accidently” flew out of her hand 😉

 

Post # 16
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think you’ve got to trust your Fiance to work this out and make the right decision. This is really an issue between him and his best man, not between you and the girlfriend. But it does need to be addressed asap.

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