(Closed) Should I make her a bridesmaid? *long*

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I personaly would probably keep it quiet. Unless she brought it up or feel like you should tell her. I would not make her a bridesmaid just keep her from getting angry or hurt. This is your wedding and you want people who you’re closest to to be your BMs.

I hope everything works out! Keep up posted!

Post # 4
5495 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man just for the sake of avoiding awkwardness. In fact, unless she brings it up with you, I wouldn’t mention it. That might be just me, though since I wouldn’t have the nerve to bring it up. If you hardly talk anymore, she will probably figure it out pretty quick.

Post # 5
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Wow, I thought I was the only person with this issue. I say just don’t ask her. She might be hurt, but you can explain it later. Just tell her you don’t feel as close with her as you do with the other 2. I would hope she would understand.

My cousin keeps blatently asking me if she is in my wedding and when I am going to ask her. I want to scream I’m not asking you! But I always avoid the subject when she brings it up. I don’t even answer her phone calls anymore because she will ask within the first minute of a conversation. She’s pregnant and is due within a week of my wedding. That, and I get very annoyed with her very easily. Not worth the stress of having her in my wedding party.

So, I say weigh your options. It’s ultimately up to you, but if you just don’t feel it, don’t ask her.

Post # 7
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you need to make her a bridesmaid or flat out tell her she isn’t one. I had this situation with a friend, and resolved it with comments that indicated she wasn’t in the wedding. Like, “I’m going shopping for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses with so-and-so, because she’s the only one of my BMs that lives in the same city as me.” Or, “I asked all my BMs about flowers, and they agreed to wear silver.”

Post # 8
145 posts
Blushing bee

I think that unless you guys have discussed in the past about being each other’s bridesmaid, you are under no obligation to even consider making her one. However, if you are going to invite her to the wedding already, can you ask her to do something else?? Like doing flowers, help you with coordinating or something like that, that could be something that you keep in the back of your mind IF she brings it up, then you can say “well, I actually need your help in this area in my wedding, and you are the only one that I know that can do this”… type of thing.

Post # 10
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think you should feel guilty.  If you two haven’t hung out or maintained your friendship over the years, I don’t understand why she would even think she’d be asked to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 11
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Wait, she asked the other girls if she was in the wedding and did not ask you? But then got upset that you hadn’t told her? That’s a little unfair.

I know you feel yucky right now, but neither you nor she is going to feel much better about the situation by making her a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Stick with what you intended and hopefully she’ll come around or be a grown-up and ask you to your face about this.

Post # 12
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Sweetie I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you didn’t do anything wrong. And frankly she sounds a little immature if she’s going to storm out of wherever because she’s not in the bridal party.
What about asking her to do a reading?

Post # 15
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

could you make her a personal attendant instead?

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