Should I marry a guy who doesn't even kiss me & have 0 passion with?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you marry someone you had 0 passion with?
    Yep : (4 votes)
    2 %
    Nope : (74 votes)
    33 %
    Wtf why are you even asking that : (143 votes)
    65 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    1453 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I am a Christian and we tried to abstain from sex before marriage, but we still had tons of passion and also made out alot. It got super hard to try to wait, like towards the end the only thing that kept us from that was knowing we’d be married soon. We’ve always had insane sexual attraction. So it’s not like a relationship without sex should be void of any sort of affection or sexual attraction or tension. And again, like PP said, you’ve (assumably?) already had sex since you’ve been married. I get that you would want to wait but the whole purity factor doesn’t make sense.

    Post # 32
    Member
    1245 posts
    Bumble bee

    wait what… h rejected you for the sake of your purity? He does know that you have been married before? So have you actually made a del that you will wait till marriage?

    Post # 33
    Member
    2782 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    ramengirl :  NO.

    Hard NO after hearing about him telling you no sex due to YOUR purity. There is no contradiction in his being practically addicted to porn and demanding that YOU be pure. He thinks women are either whores (sex is good with them, they are sexually desirable, not wife or mother material. More like…animated sex dolls.) or pure (everything but sex with them, good options for mothers and housekeepers, I mean wives.). 

    Unless you want to completely excise your sexuality from your SELF for the rest of your life I advise you to run from this guy. 

    Cover yourself up, you can’t go out like that, wipe that hooker paint off your face, you should wait until I come to you for sex, good women don’t like/want sex so much, don’t make so much noise, I can see your bra/panties with that shirt/pants/shorts, you don’t have to come to get pregnant, only whores do that, did I make a mistake and think I was marrying a good woman and instead I got a wannabe porn star, your nails are too red, little girls don’t/can’t wear two piece bathing suits, what were you doing talking to that man… I could go on here about what type of underlying values your SO seems to have. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    1738 posts
    Bumble bee

    Maybe I missed it, but have you ever had sex with him? Is he a virgin?

    Post # 37
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Ok bee, this makes no sense and you’re setting yourself up for another divorce or a lifetime of misery. If you are Christian, please read Song of Solomon and realize that passion, love, and sexual attraction are all designed by God to be  blessings of marriage.  

    He has an addiction and he needs to seek outside help. His beliefs about sex, purity, and women are completely warped and dysfunctional like he has a Madonna/ whore complex. Does he even WANT to fade out the porn and start to please you – the real, physical woman he’s about to pledge his life to? It doesn’t sound like hes making the effort required to do so.

    Please don’t marry this man. He’s not even interested in giving you a KISS now (without being pressed to do it), so what makes you think he’s going to please you intimately in marriage? He won’t!

    Maintain your dignity and spare yourself a lifetime of suffering by calling off the wedding. You have a gut feeling for a reason – use it. Don’t settle for a sexless, unhappy marriage. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2006

    Please don’t lock yourself into this relationship. You deserve better.

    Sometimes, when Darling Husband kisses me, I literally can’t stand up – I get so lightheaded and giddy.  Find someone that makes you feel like that.

    Post # 39
    Member
    2055 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Don’t do it.

    Post # 40
    Member
    8774 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    ramengirl :  I totally agree w/ MrsHarryDresden :  He has a Virgin-Whore complex (aka Mother-Whore complex, same thing). He sees women as either completely pure or completely depraved. There is no in-between. That’s why he sees no hypocrisy or contradiction in rejecting your sexual advances while he jerks it to porn. In his mind, it’s a whore’s job to get him off, not his spotless wife’s. If he let you satisfy him, that would make you a whore and who wants to marry one of those, right? It’s fucked up. And marriage does not make it better. You will be sexually frustrated forever, or until he decides he made a mistake and you’re a whore after all. Then he’ll start treating you like garbage because that’s what whores are to him. There is no room in his life for a woman who is a decent human and also likes sex. They are mutually exclusive to him. 

    Run.

    Post # 41
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee

    big time intimacy issues.

    Post # 42
    Member
    1344 posts
    Bumble bee

    He wants to watch porn, but not have sex with you.  This won’t change after marriage.  If the passion and chemistry aren’t there, then you are just friends/roommates.  I would have a serious talk with him and ask him if he wants to go through with the marriage or if you do.

    Post # 43
    Member
    1017 posts
    Bumble bee

    So…. he wants to wait, but you don’t? You are already incompatible and you’re not even married yet. What part of this whole scenario exactly screams, “Yes, we should get marred!” to you? I legitmately trying to understand why you are even posting this. I wish I could see you in real life so I can shake your shoulds and shout “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, WOMAN?!”

    Post # 44
    Member
    1806 posts
    Buzzing bee

    DO NOT MARRY THIS GUY!

    Post # 45
    Member
    1209 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    It’s  for your purity, he says…but he watches porn. DO NOT GET MARRIED!!

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