(Closed) Should I mention FSIL's miscarriage?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee

Having had an MC, I think you shouldn’t mention it at all. Maybe talking about wedding stuff with you will be a nice distraction for her…

Post # 4
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I would certainly not mention it.

Post # 5
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Don’t mention it. If she wanted you to know, she would have told you. 

Post # 6
Member
1226 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I haven’t been in the situation so don’t know what is best to do, but I do think it’s very nice of you that you’re seeking advice about it here.  It’s kind of you that you’re trying to be sensitive to your Future Sister-In-Law.  

Post # 7
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If she brings it up then obviously don’t ignore it but don’t mention it otherwise.

Post # 8
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think your heart is in the right place, but she probably wouldn’t be pleased to know her MC has become public knowledge. Many women consider it to be a very private thing.

Post # 9
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d probably let her know I was thinking of her but keep it vague- maybe send her a card or email that says:

“FMIL mentioned you were going through a difficult time right now, I wanted to let you know you and your family our in my thoughts and prayers.  If you need a friend to talk to I’m always here.” 

I wouldn’t specifically mention the miscarriage unless she brings it up first.  

Post # 10
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If I hear news about someone third-hand, I generally won’t mention it to the person. If they didn’t tell me themselves, I pretend I don’t know anything.

Post # 11
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

@awakeanddreaming:  

Did she tell you she was pregnant in the first place?  If so then I think it would be thoughtful to send a message letting her know you heard the sad news and give your condolences.  If you aren’t even supposed to know she was pregnant then definitely do not mention it.

Post # 12
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I concur with above posters, definitely do not mention anything or make it obvious that you know, it would probably just make her feel more uncomfortable. She very likely doesn’t want you to know or she would have told you (unless your Future Brother-In-Law said something like “FSIL wanted the family to know that we are going through a hard time because of this, she didn’t want to have to share the news herself.”). It doesn’t sound like your relationship with her is close enough yet that this would be very relevant, but at least now you know not to bring up other peoples’ happy pregnancy news or discuss your own TTC plans with her for a while. 

Post # 14
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

id not mention it at all. especially dont say that Future Mother-In-Law told you anything. people dont want to be talked about when its this type of news. So if it were me i wouldnt bring it up. and no one except your FH has told you. so perhaps you are not to know at all? maybe Future Mother-In-Law told your FH without thinking he’d pass on the news.

Post # 15
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

id not mention it at all. especially dont say that Future Mother-In-Law told you anything. people dont want to be talked about when its this type of news. So if it were me i wouldnt bring it up. and no one except your FH has told you. so perhaps you are not to know at all? maybe Future Mother-In-Law told your FH without thinking he’d pass on the news.

Post # 16
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

id not mention it at all. especially dont say that Future Mother-In-Law told you anything. people dont want to be talked about when its this type of news. So if it were me i wouldnt bring it up. and no one except your FH has told you. so perhaps you are not to know at all? maybe Future Mother-In-Law told your FH without thinking he’d pass on the news.

The topic ‘Should I mention FSIL's miscarriage?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors