Post # 1
I am a 24 year old that has ever been in a relationship. I am a graduate student at a university and about 2 months ago, I met a guy who I thought was cute. The first day he met, we were just out with common friends and I could tell that he was really interested in me. He kept asking questions and stayed near me all night. This got me kind of interested and I started letting my guard down.
Since then, we kept in touch every day and hung out pretty frequently. He is also 24 years old which is still pretty young. Since we are students, we just studied together one on one and hung out with mutual friends. In the beginning, I was probably sending mixed signals, especially since I wasn’t even sure what I was feeling myself. But I was still very playful and obviously happy to be around him. I don’t know if that got the message across that I was interested in him as well but things just continued like that and now it’s been almost 2 months of just talking (he has shared pretty personal things about himself), flirting, and playful stuff (teasing, tickling, etc etc). And although I have never had been in past relationships, he obviously has had girlfriends (which he has mentioned). I thought we really connected at a more deeper level and he has told me that he thought I was pretty, etc.
But my gut tells me that his interest in me is waning. And I don’t know why he has not made a move. Maybe he’s just interested in being a friend now? I just don’t know anymore. Since I have never been in a relationship before, I just don’t know how long it usually takes guys to ask someone out. And I have started really caring about him and so it’s really tough for me. He never asked me out on an official date and so our “relationship” has never gone beyond just flirting with each other.
Is it normal for a guy to decrease the frequency of contacting you if he was still interested if you guys have been around eachother for a while? It seemed that in the beginning, he was trying to impress me but now it seems that he just doesn’t care. What should I do? This is a rollercoaster and I just want to jump off but it’s so hard to let go.
I know this site is for more happy stuff but I stumbled across it while trying to figure out what I should do. 🙁 I feel so lost. I’ve never felt like this before.
Post # 3
Why don’t you ask him out?
Post # 5
Is it normal for a guy to decrease the frequency of contacting you if he was still interested if you guys have been around eachother for a while?
No. If a guy is interested, he’ll be contacting you. Sounds like your guy assumed you weren’t interested in HIM and is moving on. You do know tickling is foreplay, right? Men don’t tickle women they’re only “friendly” with; they tickle if they want to have sex with you.
If you want to date this guy, you need to TELL HIM. Good grief. It may be daunting as you’ve never dated before. Does he know about your lack of experience? You need to sit him down and tell him you’ve got the hots for him & would like to go on a date. If you’re uncomfortable, tell him that, too. And maybe explain why you’ve never dated (unless there’s some super serious reason, i.e., childhood abuse, if so save that for later) because it’s weird, at your age. Tell him why he’s the exception.
If he doesn’t want to date you — actual, real honest dating, not just hanging out with tickles — then yes, cut him out of your life completely.
Post # 6
I voted move on. He sounds like a guy who’s only/mainly interested in the chase. He went after you in the beginning, then once you showed interest (even if it wan’t obvious to you, he probably sensed that you were interested in him), it was no longer a challenge from him, so he’s not chasing you anymore. If you do decide to distance yourself from him, don’t be shoked if suddenly he starts showing you more attention (because you’ll be giving him a challenge again – some guys are weird).
Post # 7
He’s either only interested in the chase and now that you’re into him he’s not interested. OR, he didn’t get the vibe that you were interested in him, so he’s moving on…Ask him out, see what happens!
Post # 8
OR, he didn’t get the vibe that you were interested in him, so he’s moving on…Ask him out, see what happens!
If I had to guess based on the limited knowledge we have, I’d go with that. *nod*
Post # 9
He may be loosing interest because he thinks you’re not interested. Sometimes it pays off to make the first move. The worst that could happen is you get turned down but it’s not that big of a deal being turned down.
Give him a call, invite him to dinner at your place and plant a big kiss on him when he gets there. That will let you know where he stands with you
Post # 10
You say 24 is pretty young… for what? For getting into a relationship?? It’s not, really.
Post # 11
When I read this, the first thing I thought was ‘Graduate school is hard! Be patient with him.’ Are you guys in the same program? If not, I can totally understand why he’s a bit distant at the moment- this is academic crunch time…I personally have not been very social recently because the end of the semester has been so demanding.
And we can’t always assume that our intentions are clear- my fiance waited almost a year to make a move becuase he did’t think I was interested in him. And all I could think was ‘are you freaking kidding me?!?!’
Post # 14
He has never not replied to a text I sent before. But yesterday…he did that. 🙁 I keep telling myself that I should move on…but it’s so hard!
Post # 15
I have dated a few guys who were really shy and just afraid of rejection so I had to give them the initial nudge. Just send him a text saying, “Hey why dont we go out just the two of us sometime. :)” That will definately get him to either set up a date or tell you he’s not interested in you in that way. Just go for it! 🙂
Post # 16
when I was with guys that were wrong for me. making the relationship work was really hard and a lot work. I was emotionally draining and I was constantly trying to figure out what he was thinking.
With my current SO who I love, our relationship is so easy and he is straight with me. No games.
it shouldn’t be this hard. I voted for ditch him.