Post # 1
I know this girl through the net. She made a post on her blog about diamonds. Her boyfriend and she cannot afford a real diamond, but then she also went on to say she doesn’t like where real diamonds come from. I know I’ve heard bad things about where they come from but I also know it’s not all of them.
She proceeded to ask “Can any of you tell the difference between a real and a fake diamond?” And she posted like 20 pictures of real diamonds and different types of fake diamonds (like moissanite and something else)
I noticed after my response that all other responders told her “oh my gosh I couldn’t tell at all!”
I told her “I can tell but it’s all I’ve been looking at for the last month and a half!”
My boyfriend and I have been looking, she and hers looked after we did. I went on to say:
“Before then I didn’t know anything about diamonds or rings so I probably wouldn’t have known! I think it’s perfect whichever one you choose, do what is best for you guys, don’t even start thinking about things like this or worry if people can tell.”
I started to overthink what I wrote to her and I am starting to feel bad, like maybe I shouldn’t have even responded. I went back and she’s responded to everyone else’s comment but mine, although I recall she had prior to my comment. I really hope I didn’t offend her. I mean, she did ask! But… nobody else could tell… I just hope I wasn’t a bummer to her…
Do you think I should have either lied or not have answered? Ughhh 🙁
Post # 3
Well, it might have been best not to answer her post since you’re friends outside of the net and both in the market for engagement rings. It can be a really touchy subject in general and it’s just so personal. But if it’s really bugging you, I think you should apologize in person the next time you see her. Say that you are sorry for what you wrote on her blog, that it was a total foot in mouth moment and you realize it might have offended her. Say that obviously you know the ring means more to her than the stone and of course you didn’t mean anything by it, but just wanted to make sure she understood you meant no harm.
Post # 4
Thank you for your response! I think I screwed my wording up, I didn’t mean to say I also know her through the net. I was being redundant, I know her, I also know her on the net. I don’t know why I said that! I edited it.
But I think you’re right, some kind of follow up is definitely necessary… I hope she responds so it makes it easy to say. I wish she’d just respond already!!
Post # 5
Sometimes people ask questions that they only want one particular answer to. These are the kind of questions I avoid answering–you’re just going to hurt someone’s feelings and it doesn’t really do any good.
Post # 6
Seriously! I think part of my reason for answering is she’s been so excited and she’s been commenting so much on my own engagement ring shopping, I didn’t want to not say anything and also show her some enthusiasm. I should have just said “do what’s best for you!” and left it at that 🙁
Post # 7
Oh (hugs). You didn’t mean anything by it. And you tried to be nice by saying to do what’s best for her. (Like “don’t worry if everyone can tell it’s not a diamond.”) But I agree with the pps. Sometimes ppl ask for opinions when they really only want to hear validation.
I suppose it won’t be too hard to soften the situation the next time you see her. You could ask about what ring she picked out (and gush about it of course.) Then you can apologize or say warm fuzzies from there. Good luck.
Post # 8
I don’t think you said anything close to offensive–the girl did ask, after all. If I were her and had a problem with what you said, my reponse would have been “Ok, PROVE IT.” Not responding to you at all (when she has to everyone else) isn’t cool.
Be careful though, I know you are worried you upset her, but if you apologize too much for it, you may make your inoffensive comment into a huge deal.
Post # 9
I think the important fact is that you were honest with her. I can tell the difference between real and fake stones too. There is a noticiable difference. I’d rather have a small real stone than a big fake one anyday!
Post # 10
I think that is just like when someone writes a post on here and then get mad when someone disagrees with them. Well then why did you ask the question if you don’t want the honest answer? I think it might be hard to hear, but if you ask than you should respect when people tell you what they think.
She shouldn’t care what others think anyway, as long as she’s happy with her ring.
Post # 11
I think she is really self-conscious and would have liked a diamond over another stone any day. I think she does not understand that each stone is to its own. They have their own specific personalities. There is no ‘real or fake’ diamonds. Either it is a diamond, or it is something else. They are both ‘real’ in whatever they are. She is TOO hung up on having a diamond because the majority does.
I would say to just leave whatever you said as is. If you apologize, then you automatically agree you are at fault. And for what? For being able to tell the difference between a diamond and other stones is nothing short of a talent. Especially just through pictures!
If you apologize, be prepared for some more silent treatment because then she might feel like you are feeling bad for her. Kwim?
Post # 12
I think there isn’t anything wrong with what you said. You said it in an honest and respectful way. It’s not as if you were bashing her for her choice in ring type. To be completely honest there IS a difference between diamonds and other stones and gems so obviously those of us who have done our research CAN tell the difference. Don’t feel bad for being honest because she did ask the question afterall.
Post # 13
She still never wrote back to me, and I have let it go. Until I googled something along the lines of “can you tell a real from fake diamond?” and came up with all these links to sites saying how you need like a microscope and a certain light and all this stuff.
She had a series of mixed real and fake diamond rings and had the answers down below. I could tell and saw my answers were correct. I really hope she doesn’t think I was being rude or making it up. I really truly could tell the difference in those photos. Since I googled that now I’m worried she might think I was insulting her on purpose or something. I know I should let it go again but that is not a good thing for her to think of me as it’s very mean and untrue. She might honestly not think anything of it, but I can’t help but worry. I could tell though.