(Closed) Should I not have admit to her I can tell a real from fake diamond?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Well, it might have been best not to answer her post since you’re friends outside of the net and both in the market for engagement rings. It can be a really touchy subject in general and it’s just so personal. But if it’s really bugging you, I think you should apologize in person the next time you see her. Say that you are sorry for what you wrote on her blog, that it was a total foot in mouth moment and you realize it might have offended her. Say that obviously you know the ring means more to her than the stone and of course you didn’t mean anything by it, but just wanted to make sure she understood you meant no harm.

Post # 5
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Sometimes people ask questions that they only want one particular answer to. These are the kind of questions I avoid answering–you’re just going to hurt someone’s feelings and it doesn’t really do any good.

Post # 7
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Oh (hugs).  You didn’t mean anything by it.  And you tried to be nice by saying to do what’s best for her.  (Like “don’t worry if everyone can tell it’s not a diamond.”)  But I agree with the pps.  Sometimes ppl ask for opinions when they  really only want to hear validation.

I suppose it won’t be too hard to soften the situation the next time you see her.  You could ask about what ring she picked out (and gush about it of course.)  Then you can apologize or say warm fuzzies from there.  Good luck.

Post # 8
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t think you said anything close to offensive–the girl did ask, after all. If I were her and had a problem with what you said, my reponse would have been “Ok, PROVE IT.” Not responding to you at all (when she has to everyone else) isn’t cool.

Be careful though, I know you are worried you upset her, but if you apologize too much for it, you may make your inoffensive comment into a huge deal.

Post # 9
875 posts
Busy bee

I think the important fact is that you were honest with her.  I can tell the difference between real and fake stones too.  There is a noticiable difference.  I’d rather have a small real stone than a big fake one anyday!

Post # 10
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I think that is just like when someone writes a post on here and then get mad when someone disagrees with them. Well then why did you ask the question if you don’t want the honest answer? I think it might be hard to hear, but if you ask than you should respect when people tell you what they think.

She shouldn’t care what others think anyway, as long as she’s happy with her ring.

Post # 11
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think she is really self-conscious and would have liked a diamond over another stone any day. I think she does not understand that each stone is to its own. They have their own specific personalities. There is no ‘real or fake’ diamonds. Either it is a diamond, or it is something else. They are both ‘real’ in whatever they are. She is TOO hung up on having a diamond because the majority does.

I would say to just leave whatever you said as is. If you apologize, then you automatically agree you are at fault. And for what? For being able to tell the difference between a diamond and other stones is nothing short of a talent. Especially just through pictures!

If you apologize, be prepared for some more silent treatment because then she might feel like you are feeling bad for her. Kwim?

Post # 12
1537 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think there isn’t anything wrong with what you said. You said it in an honest and respectful way. It’s not as if you were bashing her for her choice in ring type. To be completely honest there IS a difference between diamonds and other stones and gems so obviously those of us who have done our research CAN tell the difference. Don’t feel bad for being honest because she did ask the question afterall.

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