- 2 years ago
- Wedding: June 2017
I am getting married to my fiance in October. My fiance is originally from Ukraine and his family is from there. I grew up in Australia and he came to Australia 6 years ago. He has two younger sisters (in the 27 and 23) who are both unemployed and hardly ever worked their whole lives. They both have bachelor degrees however never ever found proper jobs. His older sister initially had some admin level position in Ukraine, quit after a year and went to China to become a bar girl. She overstayed her visa and was kicked out of China and went back to Ukraine where she was unemployed. Due to her incidence in China, she arranged for a fake passport under her mum’s last name in Ukraine.
Recently in Ukraine she has found a job as a translator however this is freelance, she works when any documents require to be translated and does it unofficially (no contract etc).
My fiance’s dad is an alcoholic and my fiance is estranged from him. His dad and mum however do live under the same roof but do not talk to each other.
After discussions with my fiance about who is going to come to Australia for our wedding, he initially said his mum and also dad (even though he hasn’t talked to his dad for a while). He mentioned that they could come for a month.
Then after asking him again, whether his father will be coming, he said no and he might be unstable here. Instead he said he wanted his mum and his sisters to come for a holiday. He then mentioned he wanted them to come for 3 months. I asked him why so long and he said that it is because they will probably never come here and he wants them to stay for longer so that they can enjoy the lifestyle in Australia as it is different to Ukraine.
I didn’t feel very good about it all, especially because both his sisters are unemployed. Another reason is I feel like if they both came to Australia they will think we are somehow rich here and they can freeload off us (it is the feeling I get).
Another thing is because they are coming for the wedding, they would come either a few months before the wedding or stay until after the wedding. Due to them coming, I am unable to have a honeymoon with my fiance.
Also, we only have one room available for them, and there are 3 people. If they were to come, 5 people would share 1 bathroom.
I have worked 2 jobs since I was 18 (I am now 29). I am a hard worker and I feel like their values and mentality might be different to mine and that they don’t really understand what me or my parents have built here and the enormity of it.
I dont know how to approach this topic with my fiance. I feel if I said the above he would think I am selfish. However I feel like if the situation was to be turned around my fiance wouldn’t be too happy to house two of my unemployed sisters (if I had any, however I don’t because I’m an only child) for 3 months.
What should I do in this situation?