Post # 1
Trying to decide should I pay for my Maid/Matron of Honor and best man to stay where the wedding is? the Maid/Matron of Honor will have a 18 hour trip so I plan on paying for her room, but on the other hand at her wedding she didn’t pay for anyone. The problem is hotels are SO expensive on the beach so I am thinking of reserving a beach home its about 110-175 per night as a hotel is 200 a night. Do you guys think a house would be a better option?
I feel like I should pay for their rooms since they are both havign to travel. How many nights though?
The wedding is on the 9th of May 2013. so its a Thursday. Should I pay for night of 8th and 9th (2nights) or just for the 8th (1 night) ? I feel like I shoud pay for 2 nights. but thats $600 (at 150 per night for 2 houses)
Just so confused on what to do!! if I have to pay $600 then I majorly have to change my cake and pictures :/ I’m trying to pull this wedding off for under $3500 My dress was $1100 so I only have $2400 left :/ HELP!!!
Post # 3
Don’t worry about everyone else. They knew when you aasked that they would have to travel. While its nice of you to offer assistance don’t kill yourself trying to do so.
Post # 4
@MrsPinkPeony: Thanks this is very true when they said that they would be int he wedding I did explain it would be out of state, etc. I guess I am stressing over nothing! If there is any money left in the end I may offer to help out a little. Thanks!!
Post # 5
It would be a nice gesture, if you can afford it, but it’s not necessary. When I’ve travelled to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in weddings, I’ve covered my own hotel costs. See if you can get the hotel to give you discounted rooms in a block – or something like that.
Post # 6
honestly, depends on your budget. I can not afford it. the hotel we are getting married at the rooms per night start at $350 ranging all the way to 608 and thats discounted since its for our wedding! crazy right! they were suites and the 608 has two rooms with an ocean view but really? eek!!! we are informing eveyone about other hotel options as well that are MUCH cheaper 89 per night. no ocean view and about 2 miles away.
Our entire guest list will need a place to stay.
Post # 7
I agree with only paying if it fits in the budget. When I was the Maid/Matron of Honor, she got me a gift, paid for a massage and I paid for the rest. Think about what’s important to you. If you’d rather have the same person do your hair or makeup, pay that expense. Decide how much you have to spend (say $100) and she what would be the best use of that money
Post # 8
I have to agree with PPs, if you explained when you asked them to be in the wedding that there would be travel and expenses for them, you don’t have to pay for them.
I’m in a similar situation with one of my BMs coming home from NYC for my wedding. I explained when I asked her to be in the wedding that the travel and hotel (or she could stay with her parents about an hour away, if she wants) would be her responsibility. She accepted, so I assume that it’s fine.
Post # 9
If you can afford to help, I think they would appreciate any amount you can offer. Otherwise, you don’t have to pay for it, they knew what they were signing up for.
Post # 10
You sound very sweet, and I can tell that it’s very important that your friend is here for your wedding. It is not necessary to pay for accomodations, it’s a nice gesture that some people do, but you have a very low budget and I think you know that you can’t afford this.
Is there another option such as offering to have your Maid/Matron of Honor stay at a relative or friend’s house nearby?
Perhaps there is another guest who would like to split the cost of a hotel room with this person? Maybe another bridesmaid that could share a room and save $?
Is your Maid/Matron of Honor dependant on free accomadations in order to attend the wedding?
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We did because we knew that our Wedding Party members were strapped for cash and we would do anything to have them there. We also paid for their outfits and MOH’s hair/make-up. The people who celebrated with us were our first priority, and if that meant using an IPOd instead of having live music so that we had room in the budget to pay for them, then so be it.
Post # 12
I paid for my BM’s room, hair and makeup. We all live about 45 minutes from the ceremony/rehearsal site but there’s a tricky mountain-y drive to the coast. I didn’t want them to drive back home after the rehearsal and dinner only to have to drive back out the next morning at 6AM. I picked up the tab to ensure everyone could have fun/drink during the rehearsal dinner and be safe. I had to trim my budget elsewhere but it was worth it.
Post # 13
It’s a nice gesture, but don’t think it is necessary.
Post # 14
It’s a nice gesture but ultimately, they knew going in that they’d need to accomodate themselves and since you’re on a tight budget, and chances are they know this, they should not be expecting it at all.
Post # 15
Thanks so much everyone! I’m just going to continue my planning and if I have a few hundred left over I will offer it. I plan on having my hair stylist travel down to the beach as she loves the beach and is a close friend so it would be free. There isn’t any family or anything that anyone could stay at. Since it is about 8 hours from where I live and my Maid/Matron of Honor moved to CT recently becasue her husbands work. We were BEST friends before she left and we still are just don’t see each ther everyday.
Thank you so much everyone for your input. My budget doesn’t really allow it and I am glad to know that most of you think that it is okay and those of you who pay for the hotels I sure wish I could!!
Thanks everyone! Have a Happy New Year!!
Post # 16
You are by no means obligated to pay for their accomodations. They agreed to go and be a part of it, they know that comes with a hotel bill. You should however do the research. If they aren’t from the area make sure you find options in all price ranges (closer and further from the event). From on the beach hotels, to b&b’s, to chains, to houses that a few friends can chose to rent together. Make a wedding website or send an email or facebook message with all the info. And it’s also good to give them the #’s for car rentals or taxi services in the area, as well as make a little welcome booklet/bag with things to do, places to eat, etc. in the area. You can include a few snacks or a gift, map, etc. Get creative. Just make it easier for them.