(Closed) Should I pay for my bridesmaid and groomsman hotel? help :/

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Don’t worry about everyone else. They knew when you aasked that they would have to travel. While its nice of you to offer assistance don’t kill yourself trying to do so.

Post # 5
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It would be a nice gesture, if you can afford it, but it’s not necessary.  When I’ve travelled to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in weddings, I’ve covered my own hotel costs.  See if you can get the hotel to give you discounted rooms in a block – or something like that.

Post # 6
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

honestly, depends on your budget. I can not afford it. the hotel we are getting married at the rooms per night start at $350 ranging all the way to 608  and thats discounted since its for our wedding! crazy right! they were suites and the 608 has two rooms with an ocean view but really? eek!!! we are informing eveyone about other hotel options as well that are MUCH cheaper 89 per night. no ocean view and about 2 miles away.

Our entire guest list will need a place to stay.

Post # 7
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with only paying if it fits in the budget. When I was the Maid/Matron of Honor, she got me a gift, paid for a massage and I paid for the rest. Think about what’s important to you. If you’d rather have the same person do your hair or makeup, pay that expense. Decide how much you have to spend (say $100) and she what would be the best use of that money

Post # 8
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I have to agree with PPs, if you explained when you asked them to be in the wedding that there would be travel and expenses for them, you don’t have to pay for them.

I’m in a similar situation with one of my BMs coming home from NYC for my wedding. I explained when I asked her to be in the wedding that the travel and hotel (or she could stay with her parents about an hour away, if she wants) would be her responsibility. She accepted, so I assume that it’s fine.

Post # 9
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If you can afford to help, I think they would appreciate any amount you can offer. Otherwise, you don’t have to pay for it, they knew what they were signing up for.

Post # 10
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You sound very sweet, and I can tell that it’s very important that your friend is here for your wedding. It is not necessary to pay for accomodations, it’s a nice gesture that some people do, but you have a very low budget and I think you know that you can’t afford this.

Is there another option such as offering to have your Maid/Matron of Honor stay at a relative or friend’s house nearby?

Perhaps there is another guest who would like to split the cost of a hotel room with this person? Maybe another bridesmaid that could share a room and save $?

Is your Maid/Matron of Honor dependant on free accomadations in order to attend the wedding?

Post # 11
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

We did because we knew that our Wedding Party members were strapped for cash and we would do anything to have them there. We also paid for their outfits and MOH’s hair/make-up. The people who celebrated with us were our first priority, and if that meant using an IPOd instead of having live music so that we had room in the budget to pay for them, then so be it.

Post # 12
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I paid for my BM’s room, hair and makeup. We all live about 45 minutes from the ceremony/rehearsal site but there’s a tricky mountain-y drive to the coast. I didn’t want them to drive back home after the rehearsal and dinner only to have to drive back out the next morning at 6AM. I picked up the tab to ensure everyone could have fun/drink during the rehearsal dinner and be safe. I had to trim my budget elsewhere but it was worth it.

Post # 13
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

It’s a nice gesture, but don’t think it is necessary.

Post # 14
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s a nice gesture but ultimately, they knew going in that they’d need to accomodate themselves and since you’re on a tight budget, and chances are they know this, they should not be expecting it at all.

Post # 16
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

You are by no means obligated to pay for their accomodations. They agreed to go and be a part of it, they know that comes with a hotel bill. You should however do the research. If they aren’t from the area make sure you find options in all price ranges (closer and further from the event). From on the beach hotels, to b&b’s, to chains, to houses that a few friends can chose to rent together. Make a wedding website or send an email or facebook message with all the info. And it’s also good to give them the #’s for car rentals or taxi services in the area, as well as make a little welcome booklet/bag with things to do, places to eat, etc. in the area. You can include a few snacks or a gift, map, etc. Get creative. Just make it easier for them.

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