Post # 1
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
My best friend of 12 years agreed to be my MOH a few months ago for our destination wedding in 2015, and was well informed of the cost at the time.
Yesterday, she calls and says that she thinks she may not be able to afford it and thus, come at all. I understand her situation (in grad school, barely making ends meet), so I wasn’t mad, but was just sad.
The flight is going to cost around 400 and the hotel around 400 as well. I don’t know if I should offer to pay for her trip? I would hate for her not to be there, but I don’t know if I have the extra money in my budget either… ahhhhh
What would you do??
Post # 3
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee
@weddingbee098: If you want her to be there, I would decide if you could pay her costs. Or maybe split them with her? Obviously your budget is a challenge too, but will you be devastated if she can’t attend? I would be pretty upset (and so would consider what I could do financially).
ETA– don’t forget, she will also have other costs. Shower, bachelorette, BM dress, hair, etc. Weddings are expensive even when they are not DW.
Post # 4
Member
9146 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@weddingbee098: If you can afford it and really want her to be there then pick up her expenses. Otherwise, not having all of the people you want in attendance is the cost of having a destination wedding. You cold always cancel the DW and do something closer to home that your MOH could afford to attend.
Post # 5
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
@weddingbee098: Would it be possible for you to split cost with her? Or maybe loan her the money and give her a timeline to pay you back? If you really want her there then I would find a way to help get her there, but if it’s really not in your budget than just tell her you understand she can’t be there and you’ll miss her, but you’ll do something to celebrate when you get back.
Post # 6
Member
4613 posts
Honey bee
If I had a best friend of 12 years, I’d do everything I could to make sure she could be at my wedding. If you really want her there and have the money, then offer to pay! Even if you can’t pay for all of it, you could offer to pay what you can afford.
Post # 7
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
@SaltedCaramel:
@beachbride1216:
Yes I would be really devasted if she can’t come, so I already told her she can stay with FI and I in our room.
Also, she moved away from our home town, so if I do have something in town, she will still have to pay for a flight back, which is the same, if not more, to the destination wedding.
Post # 8
Member
9557 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
if you are in a financial position to be able to pay for her to come, then it just becomes a judgement call about if her being there is worth $400 or $800 to you. Me, personally? I’d probably offer to pay for her. But we were under budget for the wedding, so we had the room to do that and having our friends and family there was a top priority for us. But that’s us. Don’t know about you.
Post # 9
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
Thanks guys for all your input, i’m going to take a look at our budget and try to help as much as we can!
Post # 10
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@weddingbee098:
“I would hate for her not to be there.”
Sounds like you answered your own question. If you want her to be there, then yes, you should pay for her.
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