(Closed) Should I pay for my MOH to come to destination wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
1534 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@weddingbee098:  If you want her to be there, I would decide if you could pay her costs.  Or maybe split them with her?  Obviously your budget is a challenge too, but will you be devastated if she can’t attend?  I would be pretty upset (and so would consider what I could do financially).

ETA– don’t forget, she will also have other costs.  Shower, bachelorette, Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, hair, etc.  Weddings are expensive even when they are not Destination Wedding.

Post # 4
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@weddingbee098:  If you can afford it and really want her to be there then pick up her expenses.  Otherwise, not having all of the people you want in attendance is the cost of having a destination wedding.  You cold always cancel the Destination Wedding and do something closer to home that your Maid/Matron of Honor could afford to attend.

Post # 5
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@weddingbee098:  Would it be possible for you to split cost with her?  Or maybe loan her the money and give her a timeline to pay you back?  If you really want her there then I would find a way to help get her there, but if it’s really not in your budget than just tell her you understand she can’t  be there and you’ll miss her, but you’ll do something to celebrate when you get back.

Post # 6
5006 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2018

If I had a best friend of 12 years, I’d do everything I could to make sure she could be at my wedding. If you really want her there and have the money, then offer to pay! Even if you can’t pay for all of it, you could offer to pay what you can afford. 

Post # 8
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

if you are in a financial position to be able to pay for her to come, then it just becomes a judgement call about if her being there is worth $400 or $800 to you. Me, personally? I’d probably offer to pay for her. But we were under budget for the wedding, so we had the room to do that and having our friends and family there was a top priority for us. But that’s us. Don’t know about you.

Post # 10
9224 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013


“I would hate for her not to be there.”

Sounds like you answered your own question.  If you want her to be there, then yes, you should pay for her.


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