(Closed) Should I plan around my MOH's boyfriend's friend's wedding date?!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I plan around my MOH's boyfriend's friend's wedding date?!
    Hell no- you can't plan around everybody! : (68 votes)
    72 %
    Yes, she is your MOH and that is the considerate thing to do! : (23 votes)
    24 %
    Elope now while you still can! : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    2564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    You said you are looking at October or November, she mentioned she already has a wedding to attend on October 3 that is already booked.  There are 8 other weekends in October/Novemeber.  So no, I do not think this is a huge deal.

    I think she does know you are stressed out planning a date, by telling her October/November but not picking an actual date that is 9 possible weekends.  She simply told you she already has something to attend one of those weekends.

    Post # 4
    2178 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    well I wouldn’t change my plans for this guy it doesn’t sound like you have anything planned just yet. I would try to pick another oct/nov date but if the absolutely only date left at the venue you love is that day then well sucks but what can you do.

    that being said I would try to accomidate… I mean why put them in a bad situation if you can easily avoid it by picking any other 8 (9 if you count thanksgiving) weekends

    Post # 6
    3115 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    @HeartsandSparkles:  you haven’t set a date. She told you she’s unavailable that weekend. Don’t be crazy- just plan another weekend. 

    Post # 9
    727 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013


    You nkow what? I can see how some may thin its nuts that you’re freaking out but I get it. I would be stressed too. She knew you were already freaking out. there was no need to add to it.

    I say pick the date that is right for you. If he cant make it –who cares. As long as she is there. And if his being there is taht important then I hope he realizes it and forgoes his friend’s wedding. 

    That said, if it’s possible to pick another wedding you can do that too. We knew we wanted sometime in October and ened up picking based off my MOH’s fiance’s sister’s wedding. What a moutful! But yeah, she was getting married 2 weeks before and at the time they thought they might go on a group honeymooon thing so he would have been gone for two weeks. So I picked the one after that. But really, the date didnt matter much to us

    Post # 11
    1248 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

    I think it makes sense why she told you, she wanted to give you a heads up. You don’t have to necessarily care if your MOH’s bf can come to your wedding but keep in mind (not that I’m saying its right) but your Maid/Matron of Honor might not be willing to stay for the whole wedding/be as helpful if her bf I can’t make it. A LOT can happen in a year; they may break up and he won’t be around or they could randomly get engaged and then she would be more upset about him not being able to make it. 


    Post # 12
    7643 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @HeartsandSparkles:  Why does she want to block a whole month? That’s crazy town. If she can’t name an exact date, then the other couple isn’t booked yet.

    Pick the date that works for you. You can’t plan around someone so removed. I mean, if there are two equally good dates and MOH can give a firm date for her bf’s friend, you might as well avoid the clash. But otherwise, if MOH’s bf can’t be there, it’s no big deal.

    Post # 13
    6741 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think that if you COULD plan it on another day, it wouldn’t HURT. But I do think it may also have to do with the way she said it. I would have just said, “I have a wedding to attend on October 3” and that’s it. You DO want your Maid/Matron of Honor happy, too – she’s going to be your right-hand “man” and you’re going to need her to be happy, trust me.

    Post # 14
    1589 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Why do you have to plan around Halloween and your uncle’s birthday?

    Anyway I voted hell no.

    Post # 16
    7643 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Bubbles42:  I agree. The uncle’s presumably an adult so he should be used to celebrating his birthday on another day anyway. Halloween (October 31 2014) is a Friday so unless you’re planning a Friday wedding that’s no problem either.

    p.s. The date you suggested for the other couple (Oct 3 2014) is also a Friday, so MOH’s bf could come anyway if you had it on the Saturday (Oct 4).

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