(Closed) Should I propose to him?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
48 posts

I think it’s a lovely idea for an engagement present, but honestly, let him have his moment.  It sounds like he loves you dearly and it’s inevitable that he will propose.  It’s one of the most important acts in a guy’s life where they can take the reins and make it something really unique and memorable.  I know you’re antsy, but don’t take that away from him.    

Post # 4
288 posts
Helper bee

I think its a really cool idea, but from your post, it sounds like you should wait. You said yourself that it wouldn’t happen until he was finished with law school. So let him finish, and if a few weeks go by and nothing is progressing, talk to him first, and then go from there. Either way, I think it’s a good idea, and will make a great present!

Post # 5
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m going to go ahead and join the pps opinions on this one. I know it’s tough to hear that you should wait, but I think that that is exactly what you should do. As a previous poster mentioned, the proposal is a very big deal for guys – it’s something they plan extensively and stress about. From your description, it sounds like he’s the type that would want this opportunity and he may be very upset that you will “steal his thunder” from him. Let him have his moment. 

By the way, the geek in me just rejoiced. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree i think it is a cute idea… but I think he probably has his plans already.. plus i asked my Fiance many times and each time he said no lol  i think they like to have their moment however long it may take


Post # 7
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I say go for it!  Unless he is very traditional, or has spoken about it being very important to him that he propose.  Otherwise – why not?  Sounds like you have some awesome ideas about how to do it!  Love scarf thing – and I think you should change it to “light” maybe.  Leaving it the same works too though.

Good luck!

Post # 8
2815 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree, go for it!  I’m sure he’ll be pleasantly surprised.  And he can still propose to you once he gets you your e-ring!

Post # 9
229 posts
Helper bee

You know what? I say YES! It sounds like you are ready, and, as you said, this particular day has special significance for you. You’ve put extra thought into the details (the scarf) and into making it a personal and meaningful moment for both of you ๐Ÿ™‚

In general, I am a huge fan of ladies proposing to their guys– and moreover being excited about it! I would propose to my SO in a heartbeat, if I hadn’t already put all the work into initiating the relationship, lol. (Though, still considering it– it’s such fun to be able to plan something like this ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

My only words of caution are (1) make sure you have some idea of how he might react (as in, will he be ok with you proposing?) and (2) make sure YOU’RE ok with not being proposed TO (as in, will you regret that you didn’t get a proposal someday? are you willing to deal with people being somewhat taken aback by un-traditionalness?).

GOOD LUCK! Can’t wait to hear what you decide.  

Post # 10
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m in the Don’t Do It camp. Try to ride it out a little more until he finishes his schooling. He may have something in the works and I know I’d feel bad taking that away from my SO. Hang in there!

Post # 11
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Aaaawww! I say go for it, too!

Post # 12
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

First of all, I think the scarf is awesome!  And definately change it to ‘lightness’…unless darkness fits you two and your relationship.

As for you proposing to him: How traditional is he? I can a guy being either really touched and accept or be really upset that the proposal wasn’t ‘right’.  I know my SO would not want me proposing to him.  Not because he’s against women or me taking the reins or marrying me but because he’s pretty traditional in that aspect and would be dissappointed that he wasn’t the one to propose.

If you don’t think he would react badly, I’d say go for it!! He can always do a second proposal later ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with pp. You should wait. He plans on proposing to you and this can be a very important thing for men.  

Either way, exciting!


Congrats and keep us posted. 

Post # 15
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

I feel, with the additional stipulations you laid you, that it might be best to let him propose. He would have a better idea of when it will be okay with his parents to take this step and perhaps the reason why the discussions haven’t gone so well could be because he is already planning something or knows that now is not the right time to propose, especially given the financial assistance thing? Planning a proposal is always possible, no matter how busy one might be. There have been plenty of romantic proposal stories done at home! 

I would still make that scarf though. Regardless of the intention, it sounds like a wonderful gift!

Post # 16
2755 posts
Sugar bee

As a gal who proposed, I’d normally say go for it but it does sound like he’s put some thought into doing it himself and you probably wouldn’t want to take that away from him. For me, I knew my guy would eventually get around to it but wouldn’t have a problem if I beat him to it (and I was right – he absolutely didn’t and was relieved he didn’t have to bumble around figuring out what I wanted in a ring, etc. lol). But if your Boyfriend or Best Friend has been planning on it, then be patient and let him.

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