(Closed) Should I push back my wedding date for my sister's wedding? (long story)

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
4035 posts
Honey bee

Nope. Do what works for the two of you, not the four of you. (I always wanted a May wedding; I ended up with the end of December).

Post # 3
Member
4496 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

No. Don’t push it back for your sister (who isn’t even engaged yet — much less setting a date). 

I would never ever be mad about this if you were my sister. The only reasonable thing to do is to go on planning your life. 

Post # 4
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee

I read just the title and said “Nope”. Your sisters gets ONE day for her wedding, and it shouldn’t matter if it’s in the same month. She’s not engaged yet, so she has no right to be mad.

Post # 5
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

No way! and she should just start being happy for you. You have enough stress to handle. 

Post # 6
Member
9276 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
awag1681:  Set your wedding date now. Your sister is being ridiculous. No one can claim a wedding month/season especially when they are not even engaged yet.

Post # 7
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

Agree with PPs, your sister isn’t even engaged yet so has no right to be upset about the date you choose! Pick your June/July date and let her know what’s up. 

Post # 8
Member
47423 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can’t put your life on hold for your sister. Set your date and start planning.

Post # 10
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Definitely don’t put it off for your sister!

that said, you may want to consider eloping or a small civil ceremony and a bigger party later. As you know the military schedule is very unpredictable and it may keep changing and forcing you to push you date back. if you do decide to plan a Big wedding make sure all you contracts have military clauses that allow you to change the date or cancel if his orders change

Post # 11
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

And don’t forget to ask vendors for military discounts! Many offer them!

Post # 12
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You got engaged first so you get to pick the date (she’s not even engaged!)

Besides, it’s no big deal if you have your weddings close together.  In my family, we’ve had three weddings in less than a year: me in May 2014, my brother in November 2014 and my other brother in March 2015. It’s been a really fun year and also we’ve been able to help each other out with the planning. 

Post # 13
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

Usually if you get engaged first it would be normal to get married first. You can’t put your life on hold for her. Especially with your Fiance being in the military- I know there would be benefits for you both to be married. Don’t let someone else dictate your future.

Post # 14
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

your sister would be petty to be angry at you over something so ridiculous, especially considering how hard it is for you guys to find a date that works.

Post # 15
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

I disagree with some of the other bees.  You’re still in college and not even sure about his availability – is it possible he could get off a few weeks next August?  You’ve already pushed it back since you’ve been engaged for a few weeks, and don’t have a set date yet.

My sister and I are both getting married this year, and let me say I think having 2 sister weddings in one month would cause a lot of hard feelings.  Also hardship for familiy that travels (if you have any).  You’d have to have bridal showers near the same time – picking colors, bridesmaid dresses near the same time, etc.

However I must also admit my bias – I am 5 years older than my sister and getting married in July.  She is getting married in October.  She waited to set her date until after I’d set MINE, in respect to me.. because I’m older and been dating fiance longer.  We got engaged within a month of each other though.  But I thought it was so absolutely lovely, generous, selfless – for her to give me 3 months to bask in it a little, and be able to go on a honeymoon, etc.  Why are you rushing it if you’re in your early 20s?  Why cant’ you do yours in August or September?

Lastly, TALK TO HER.  See what she says. Maybe she doesn’t even want a June wedding!  The nicest sister would ask her how she’s feeling and let her know you don’t want to hurt her feelings.  She’ll immediately be on your side.

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