Post # 1
Hi, new here… Thank you for taking the time to read my post!
So, my military boyfriend proposed to me two months ago 🙂 Yay! We’ve had a long distance relationship for 2 out of the 3 years we have been dating. So far, it has been very hard to find a date for our wedding. My fiance’s schedule is very subject to change since he’s in the military. I am still in college, so we are aiming to get married during one of my summer or winter breaks and hoping that his schedule matches with those breaks. I don’t think that I could handle getting married in the middle of a semester. It is alredy stressful planning a wedding during a semester, so I can’t imagine actually getting married during a semester too… We have already had to change our wedding date from June to December, and now his schedule is most likely not allowing December either. So, our next possibility is the next June or July…
Now, my sister is 6 years older than me and has been dating her boyfriend longer than I’ve been dating mine. She is a nurse and her boyfriend is an accountant, so their schedules are far more flexible than mine and my fiance’s. Her boyfriend will be proposing to her very soon, and she has always wanted a summer wedding. She will most definitely get married in June of next year. The problem: that is the next available time that I can have my wedding. My sister is already upset that I got engaged before her, and she would be livid if I had my wedding so close to hers.
I don’t want to upset my sister even more than I already have, but I do not believe in putting my life on hold for her. I also feel that I am already making enough sacrficies with my wedding, and I do not want to put my wedding off for another 6 months. Plus, there is no guarantee that my fiance’s schedule will allow for a wedding at that time. Granted, there is no guarantee that his schedule will allow for June of next year either…
So, my questions is should I push back my wedding another 6 months after June of next year to December of next year? I never wanted a long engagement like that… Any advice or words to put my mind at ease? Thank you so much!
Post # 2
Nope. Do what works for the two of you, not the four of you. (I always wanted a May wedding; I ended up with the end of December).
Post # 3
No. Don’t push it back for your sister (who isn’t even engaged yet — much less setting a date).
I would never ever be mad about this if you were my sister. The only reasonable thing to do is to go on planning your life.
Post # 4
I read just the title and said “Nope”. Your sisters gets ONE day for her wedding, and it shouldn’t matter if it’s in the same month. She’s not engaged yet, so she has no right to be mad.
Post # 5
No way! and she should just start being happy for you. You have enough stress to handle.
Post # 6
Set your wedding date now. Your sister is being ridiculous. No one can claim a wedding month/season especially when they are not even engaged yet.
Post # 7
Agree with PPs, your sister isn’t even engaged yet so has no right to be upset about the date you choose! Pick your June/July date and let her know what’s up.
Post # 8
You can’t put your life on hold for your sister. Set your date and start planning.
Post # 9
THank you all so much! My decision to plan for only myself and my fiance is now firmer than ever. My sister probably will not understand my situation, at least not right away, but I have to do what is best for my future husband and me 🙂
Post # 10
Definitely don’t put it off for your sister!
that said, you may want to consider eloping or a small civil ceremony and a bigger party later. As you know the military schedule is very unpredictable and it may keep changing and forcing you to push you date back. if you do decide to plan a Big wedding make sure all you contracts have military clauses that allow you to change the date or cancel if his orders change
Post # 11
And don’t forget to ask vendors for military discounts! Many offer them!
Post # 12
You got engaged first so you get to pick the date (she’s not even engaged!)
Besides, it’s no big deal if you have your weddings close together. In my family, we’ve had three weddings in less than a year: me in May 2014, my brother in November 2014 and my other brother in March 2015. It’s been a really fun year and also we’ve been able to help each other out with the planning.
Post # 13
Usually if you get engaged first it would be normal to get married first. You can’t put your life on hold for her. Especially with your Fiance being in the military- I know there would be benefits for you both to be married. Don’t let someone else dictate your future.
Post # 14
your sister would be petty to be angry at you over something so ridiculous, especially considering how hard it is for you guys to find a date that works.
Post # 15
I disagree with some of the other bees. You’re still in college and not even sure about his availability – is it possible he could get off a few weeks next August? You’ve already pushed it back since you’ve been engaged for a few weeks, and don’t have a set date yet.
My sister and I are both getting married this year, and let me say I think having 2 sister weddings in one month would cause a lot of hard feelings. Also hardship for familiy that travels (if you have any). You’d have to have bridal showers near the same time – picking colors, bridesmaid dresses near the same time, etc.
However I must also admit my bias – I am 5 years older than my sister and getting married in July. She is getting married in October. She waited to set her date until after I’d set MINE, in respect to me.. because I’m older and been dating fiance longer. We got engaged within a month of each other though. But I thought it was so absolutely lovely, generous, selfless – for her to give me 3 months to bask in it a little, and be able to go on a honeymoon, etc. Why are you rushing it if you’re in your early 20s? Why cant’ you do yours in August or September?
Lastly, TALK TO HER. See what she says. Maybe she doesn’t even want a June wedding! The nicest sister would ask her how she’s feeling and let her know you don’t want to hurt her feelings. She’ll immediately be on your side.