(Closed) Should I push back my wedding/call off my the engagement

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 61
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Museum

I say run for the hills. Honestly, if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you have to be able to trust them. Fully, completely and be able to talk to them about anything. It may hurt, but my personal opinion is that it would be for the best

Post # 62
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I do think you should run. But before you run, have a calm debriefing with her. Show her respect but make it as clean cut and professionak as possible in person. Instead of creating a scene, which im not saying you will, tell her that this is not working and you wish her the best in life. Always end by being the bigger person. But YOU have to do it, and soon. Don’t wait until she leaves you or you will always be wanting her.

Post # 64
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Best of luck to you both! Counseling is a great idea for your relationship and for herself. The fact that she agreed to it shows she may not be as horrible as we all seemed to think lol. If she’s willing to work for the relationship, she’s deserving of another shot.

Post # 65
Member
2969 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think counseling for her is a good thing, but if you think that you can move past all of the things she’s already done because you don’t want to throw away what you’ve “built with her” you’re really mistaken. She’s already done irreparable damage whether you realize it or not. Every time her phone rings, there’s an outing with mutual friends, or you feel sick you will wonder if it’s because of something she lied to you about.

You haven’t built anything. You have been dating someone that you obviously don’t know anything about and who had no regard for you, your relationship or your life/health. She’s had this whole other life and persona outside of your relationship- one that you weren’t important enough to her to know about.

While she may be able to go and eventually “fix herself”, you are holding onto absolutely nothing right now. She’s a mess and you’re clingy and insecure if you think you need to deal with all of these issues and that you somehow owe this to her. I’d let her go and then go to therapy myself to figure out why I would let someone constantly do this to me, and I’d go get tested for STD’s while I’m at it.

Post # 66
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

pwillis:  Just read through this– congrats on making a brave decision.

As much as it hurts to break it off, I think you’ll realize it’s the right decision. I hope you can work things out, but #4 and #5 would be really tough for me to get past. Honestly, after some time, I think you’ll realize it’s worth letting go.

Good luck!

 

Post # 67
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

This girl seems immature, insecure, sneaky, attention grabby, snarky and a complete and total rat. You deserve better. Break it off. It will hurt at first but this will be best in the long run.  Trust is the core of every relationship. If you can’t trust her, you will never be happy. I’m truly sorry this happened to you, no one deserves it.<br /><br />- just read that you broke it off. Congrats and I’m happy you did what you thought is best. 

Post # 68
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I am so sorry this is happening to you 🙁 I hope that she realises one day what she had. In my opinion, you should run for the hills. Do you really want to be tied to that loose cannon for life? Do you want kids with her? Sorry to say but there’s no way this could work at this point.

Post # 69
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

pwillis:  1) when someone shows you who they really are, believe them!

2) You dont love her. You love the idea of her. The her she lied about being. I can’t believe that as a little boy you dreamed about marrying (and having kids with) a woman who needs constant attention from other men, puts you in horrible social situations and Lies about having an incurable STD (and putting your health at risk).

3) Even if you go into counseling, will you ever respect her? Will you ever be able to walk into a room with her and think “I’m so lucky, I’ve got the best girl here”?

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