Post # 61
- Wedding: July 2015 - Museum
I say run for the hills. Honestly, if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you have to be able to trust them. Fully, completely and be able to talk to them about anything. It may hurt, but my personal opinion is that it would be for the best
Post # 62
I do think you should run. But before you run, have a calm debriefing with her. Show her respect but make it as clean cut and professionak as possible in person. Instead of creating a scene, which im not saying you will, tell her that this is not working and you wish her the best in life. Always end by being the bigger person. But YOU have to do it, and soon. Don’t wait until she leaves you or you will always be wanting her.
Post # 63
Thank you all for your comments and shared thoughts. I called off the engagement. For now I am not sure how to deal with the rest but i told her for anything we should definitely see a counselor and she agrees and alsoe said she would seek professional help on herself. That is as far as we left it for now. Thank you again. I Knew i had to do it. Now i am trying to do it in a way that does not totally destroy everything i have built with her. Somewhere i still hope she will mature and change but I know it is near impossible at this point. Let’s see how the rest goes. Thank you again guys.
Post # 64
Best of luck to you both! Counseling is a great idea for your relationship and for herself. The fact that she agreed to it shows she may not be as horrible as we all seemed to think lol. If she’s willing to work for the relationship, she’s deserving of another shot.
Post # 65
I think counseling for her is a good thing, but if you think that you can move past all of the things she’s already done because you don’t want to throw away what you’ve “built with her” you’re really mistaken. She’s already done irreparable damage whether you realize it or not. Every time her phone rings, there’s an outing with mutual friends, or you feel sick you will wonder if it’s because of something she lied to you about.
You haven’t built anything. You have been dating someone that you obviously don’t know anything about and who had no regard for you, your relationship or your life/health. She’s had this whole other life and persona outside of your relationship- one that you weren’t important enough to her to know about.
While she may be able to go and eventually “fix herself”, you are holding onto absolutely nothing right now. She’s a mess and you’re clingy and insecure if you think you need to deal with all of these issues and that you somehow owe this to her. I’d let her go and then go to therapy myself to figure out why I would let someone constantly do this to me, and I’d go get tested for STD’s while I’m at it.
Post # 66
pwillis: Just read through this– congrats on making a brave decision.
As much as it hurts to break it off, I think you’ll realize it’s the right decision. I hope you can work things out, but #4 and #5 would be really tough for me to get past. Honestly, after some time, I think you’ll realize it’s worth letting go.
Post # 67
This girl seems immature, insecure, sneaky, attention grabby, snarky and a complete and total rat. You deserve better. Break it off. It will hurt at first but this will be best in the long run. Trust is the core of every relationship. If you can’t trust her, you will never be happy. I’m truly sorry this happened to you, no one deserves it.<br /><br />- just read that you broke it off. Congrats and I’m happy you did what you thought is best.
Post # 68
I am so sorry this is happening to you 🙁 I hope that she realises one day what she had. In my opinion, you should run for the hills. Do you really want to be tied to that loose cannon for life? Do you want kids with her? Sorry to say but there’s no way this could work at this point.
Post # 69
pwillis: 1) when someone shows you who they really are, believe them!
2) You dont love her. You love the idea of her. The her she lied about being. I can’t believe that as a little boy you dreamed about marrying (and having kids with) a woman who needs constant attention from other men, puts you in horrible social situations and Lies about having an incurable STD (and putting your health at risk).
3) Even if you go into counseling, will you ever respect her? Will you ever be able to walk into a room with her and think “I’m so lucky, I’ve got the best girl here”?
Post # 70
KoiKove: Very true KoiKove, I am asking myself those questions and i am still confused and hurt. For now i broke it off but then like you said I do feel like I am not sure what the outcome of the relationship would be all together even through counseling. I feel stupid for even trying that but I am trying to go in knowing I tried and ultimately given her and us one last push. If after this i don’t feel any change in how I feel personally then it I would move on. At this point I feel like I am going through the motions hoping for a miracle. At the end of the day I will follow my guts and whatever it tells me to do. Thank you very much for the input