(Closed) Should I quit my job, is my boss borderline abusive?

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 4
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

From my personal experience of having worked for a couple of horrible bosses, I would say that your health is worth more than any job.  Life is too short to languish away working for an abusive person.  If you can walk away, do it.  Make sure you have a back up plan, but personally, I would leave.  


Good luck!!

ETA: The idea that going to bed at 2:30am is ‘early’, and that he was disappointed in you because there was more work to be done, is ridiculous.

Honestly, I used to walk to work and pray that I’d get hit by a bus.  I didn’t want to die, I just wanted to lie in traction for a while, away from my job so that I could give my anxiety a rest. No job is worth THAT!


Post # 5
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

He sounds controlling and negative.  If you are planning on staying on for longer I would start to write down these instances so that you have a “bullying and harrassment” leg to stand on one day if needed.  Take screen shots of the Skype harrassment as well.  Stop apologising too because that will just feed his ego.

Overall I would suggest you tell him to stick it – it will only get worse so perhaps best to get out NOW!  

Post # 6
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

First if he says something that makes you uncomfortable you need to tell him. If you have never told him in the last 10 years that you don’t appreciate something, he has no idea. That’s like calling somebody the wrong name for 10 years and them never correcting you.

I would tell him to schedule a time to talk if he still needs to when it works for him. Continue with the work you hae and when he is done being butthurt he can schedule the meeting. I would start the new position and see how things go. Personally I would try to stick with it until you can find something else or decide to leave the working world. In this economy nothing is guaranteed and who knows how long it could take to conceive. For me I wouldn’t gamble, but at the same time you have to do what is best for you.,


Post # 7
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@rodeoblaze:  I wouldnt quit my job, but I would start looking

Post # 8
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@rodeoblaze:  Totally agree that health is above all the most important thing (especially if you want children soon!) I was in a position once where although I achieved and learned a lot, I was worked to breaking point and ended up in hospital and off work for a few weeks due to a combination of stress and nerves.

In regards to your bosses behaviour, it certainly sounds unreasonable to me and while I can understand you not having said anything to this point (I find confrontation difficult too) I think you should definitely try and approach the subject with him in a professional way.

Weigh up the pro’s and con’s – if you’ve put a lot of time and effort in to getting this new role you may get more satisfaction out of it and it may all be woth it, but at the same time, if he’s going to be an a**hole no matter what, I think it’s definitely worth looking at your other options. No one has the right to make you feel that way (and considering you’re working til 2.30am, you sound like a damn good employee!) it will be his loss.

Post # 10
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@rodeoblaze:  Is there an HR department or does your boss hae a boss you could talk to? Defintely start looking.

Post # 13
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i would try to hang in there and get a new job before leaving.

Post # 14
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@rodeoblaze:  he sounds like an absolute ass.  Normally,mi think the smart thing to do would be find another job first and then quit.  But honestly, we work to live and not live to work.  So if you cannot work for him another second, then do what’s best for your well being and happiness and quit.  Being around that kind of abuse is not a good way to live your life.  I’m so sorry you have had to deal with this.

Post # 15
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Step 1: stop apologizing to him

Step 2: when he makes a snide comment, tell him that its inappropriate and not professional

Step 3: find new job ASAP 


It sounds like he thinks he can get away with his behavior because you’ve kinda let him (unintentially but still). 

Post # 16
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I had a boss like this before.  I used to go home crying and come to work terrified of what might happen to me that day.  I had that job for 6 months before I quit.  It was the best decision for me, and looking back I wish I had quit sooner.  The feeling I had walking out of there on my last day was just magical, knowing I never had to see that woman or be yelled at by her again!  If you hate your job and have enough money saved up to look for another one, do it.  Trust me, you will be so much happier job searching than going back to work another day!  

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