- 3 years ago
I’ll try to make a long story short, but I can answer questions in the comments if they arise…
My SIL got pregnant with her daughter after only dating her dad for 2 months. About 6 months after her daughter was born, SIL got married to her daughter’s father. During SIL and BIL’s engagement, he kicked her out once (at 8 months pregnant) and he left them when their daughter was a couple of months old. They made up each time and after getting married, SIL has not overly clued us into what their marriage is like, but DH, DH’s family, and I have all seen red flags that he is not treating her very well. It has never seemed to be physical, but more emotional/mental abuse, in addition to just being a rather shitty human being in general.
SIL and Brother-In-Law now have a newborn son. On Friday, SIL called her mom (who was staying with DH and me for the weekend) crying. Apparently she was trying to pump and the newborn started crying in the other room, so she asked Brother-In-Law if he could go get him. Brother-In-Law told her “no” because he was watching a TV show. SIL gets the baby, calms him down, and then asks Brother-In-Law if he can hold his son while she finishes pumping. He apparently freaked out and called her a bitch for interrupting his show in front of their newborn son and 4 year-old daughter.
Now, this morning (3 days later), DH and I get a text from his mom asking us to pray for SIL and the kids. SIL ended up packing up the two kids last night and left her husband. DH and I do not know the whole story because Mother-In-Law told us, “it’s SIL’s story to tell if she wants to tell it…”
That’s fine. I don’t need to know the details of what happened or why SIL left, but I am obviously concerned for her and my niece and nephew. DH doesn’t want to say anything to her, saying she will come to us if she wants to talk/needs us. I, on the other hand, have considered sending her a quick message saying something along the lines of, “I heard you were staying at MIL’s for awhile. If you need anything, please let DH or me know. Love you!”
Am I overstepping some boundaries here? Should I just leave this be and wait for her to come to us (if she wants/needs to, that is)? Or will a short, general text like that be okay to send to show we are here to support her?
(For the record, Mother-In-Law has told the rest of the family that SIL and the kids are staying with her “to get a change of scenery from being home all the time while she is on maternity leave.” Because of this, I’m not exactly sure if SIL even wanted us to know about this in the first place which makes it more complicated.)
Sorry. This ended up being longer than I intended. I’m just worried and want my SIL to know I’m there for her. 🙁