(Closed) should I refuse to do any more ring shopping?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Ms.B:A year and a half?!?!?!?! Eeesh, I’d go ber-zerk! I would refuse to go, OR he lets you pick out a ring and he buys it THAT day. Fiance and I went one day on a whim, bought the Engagement Ring and band right there. Then it was the waiting… that was the hardest part. He only made me wait a few weeks though 🙂

Post # 4
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t go anymore. But then, in addition to not going, I’d ask him WHY we’ve been ring shopping for a year and a half. That seems a bit, not cool.  I can understand a lady waiting for that long, but when you’ve gone ring shopping, that gives certain expectations. Waiting a year and a half seems a bit long.

Post # 5
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t give him any ultimatums, but you need to find a way to tell him that this is making you unhappy. That ring shopping (to you) implies taking the next step, but to him, it appears to be just info gathering. So that you are not constantly excited only to be let down when he doesn’t propose. I really think you should talk to him, but gently.

Post # 8
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you should say, “Honey I love you and I look forward to getting married to you. I love the fact that you want to make sure that I love the e-ring you buy me. I trust that you have enough information to make a good decision. (However, if you are still uncertain I can give you my top 3.) At this point, going repeatedly going ring shopping isn’t giving you any additional information. So, I’m going to say it again, I TRUST YOU to make a good decision. One thing I need to say, and I hope you don’t take the wrong way is what my expectations are surrounding the proposal. I’d really like it if you ask my father for my hand and that you make the proposal special, but not over the top. I also want to see if our timelines are aligned. Am I correct to think that I can expect a proposal sometime in the next 6 months which would be around the Super Bowl next year? If this is an inncorrect timeline, please let me know so I can adjust my expectations.”

Post # 10
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Ms.B: Thanks! Let me know how it goes.

Post # 11
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Who suggests the ring shopping? If he keeps asking, maybe you could mention “You know I love looking at rings, but we’ve been looking for a year and a half.  What are you hoping to get out of continuing to look?”

Maybe he wants a different price range?  maybe he hasn’t seen anything he likes?  maybe he wants you to know he still wants to get married, but doesn’t feel ready?  I would try to get at why he keeps wanting to look for so long, and so many times.  My Fiance LOVES shopping for jewelry, but even he didn’t want to go more than four or five times. There seems to be some reason he wants to keep going.

 

Post # 12
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Just dont go anymore. I think you you said it best. Just tell him you know what I like and what I want. You can figure it out from there. I think if you go anymore you are just going to drive yourself crazy! A year and a half of ring shopping is a long LONG time.

Post # 13
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

I only went ring shopping with my fiance ONCE. After that- he went by himself a few different times and got a ring HE was happy with.

It has been a year and a half- yep- time to stop.

Post # 14
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ahhhh you sound like me, we went ring shopping on many occassions over 1.5 years too, so I relate to your annoyance!

Last weekend he took me again, but this time I told him someting like; ‘look we have been shopping many times, some 2-3 times alone in the last month. I can’t bring myself to try on rings without getting anything from it! If your not going to marry me, fine – I can wait until your ready. But please dont keep building up my hopes and getting excited to look at rings if you don’t mean to buy’

He was a little upset by this, but must have worked – we went in for a final time, chose the ring we both wanted (after about the 3rd time going to see it/try it on!) and he put a deposit on it to buy it (non refundable, he will have to buy me it now!!! 😉

Follow what I did – tell him your concerns. If he feels your losing interest because hes overplayed the browsing card too much, he will feel the urgency to make the decision!

Post # 15
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

I agree. No more ring shopping. SO and I went twice and only two stores total. If he doesn’t know after a year and a half. Geesh! I think you should politely tell him if he asks again. Maybe he just likes to shop for rings. Who know?!?!?!? But it’s frustrating for you. I know it would be for me. Good Luck.

Post # 16
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

you had me at a year and a half of ring shopping – i wouldnt go with him anymore because thats ridiculous not to mention emotionally painful (i would go postal on his butt).   does he have the funds to actually buy a ring?

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