(Closed) Should I rekindle the friendship with this couple?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I rekindle the friendship w/them?
    Yes! You guys have lots in common! : (1 votes)
    4 %
    No! Sounds like there could be issues again! : (23 votes)
    88 %
    Other...please explain : (2 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7365 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Ew.  I’d pass on that friendship.

    Post # 4
    Member
    900 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @texasbee:  honestly, in this scenario, it seems like a major part of the problem is your husband.  He was flirting with the wife—who didn’t like it and moved away.  He doesn’t care about your interests when traveling in favor of their interests, he blames you for the lost friendship, and he’s “jealous” of the “super couple”.  And yes, the weird tension between you and your husband, your husband’s reactions, and your fighting as a couple in their presence has probably turned them off a little from traveling/hanging out with the two of you.  I would have a long talk with your Darling Husband about what/who is important here—YOUR relationship together, or your relationship as a couple to the other couple?

    Post # 5
    Member
    2183 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    That sounds super unfortunate. I would not want “friends” like that. I think you need to decide if you’re going to stand your ground with your husband, which will likely irritate him, or put your feelings aside and make him happy, since he wants the friendship. Father-In-Law is sort of a non-issue to me. If he wants to hang out with them, fine!

    I would stand my ground. That whole situation is awkward. The lady sounds like a…an interesting person who I wouldn’t want to be friends with.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I don’t think these friends are the problem here…. I think you two have some issues you need to work out. You need to have a long talk with your Darling Husband about his jealousy and why it is he feels he needs that excitement in his life. Two people should not have this much influence on your relationship.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1685 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    From what you’ve said and the overall “tone” of your post, you don’t seem to particularly like B, and are indifferent to A, so if I were you, I wouldn’t pursue a friendship.  Not having kids and liking similar activities is not enough “in common” to start a friendship.

    You need to click with someone.  It seems like your prior friendship was a little out of convenience.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1431 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think rekindling this friendship will be more trouble than it is worth. This couple still causes tension and arguements between you and your husband and you don’t even hang out or talk to them so imagine what it will be like if they are in your lives again. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    8461 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Hmm it sounds like A and B are incredibly compatible with each other, maybe that’s what your husband is jealous of?  Regardless, as compatible as A and B are together, it doesn’t seem like they’re compatible with you as a couple.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @texasbee:  I am not saying you have to force this friendship. They are obviously attached at the hip and that is their business. I wouldn’t try hard to be friends with B. They are causing you two to fight which is not good at all.

     The fact that your husband has this jealousy issue, dosn’t back you up and seemed very intent on B is what is concerning to me. Like I said, these two people should not have this much influence on your relationship. Something is clearly bothering him and he seems to want what they have. I am probably way off-base as I am only going off what you are telling me, but this dosn’t seem right at all to me….

    Post # 13
    Member
    5221 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Sorry, this may sound harsh.

    It seems like you and your Darling Husband are the ones who may need to have some adjustments. I’m sorry, but the whole ” lustful” looks he was supposedly giving her seem a bit far fetched and like your own insecurity speaking and not what actually happened. Who knows why she moved away from the fire, and it doesn’t matter at this point. You mentioned her looks several times, and I think it kind of a shame that we can’t just let a pretty woman be a pretty woman! She isn’t out to get your Darling Husband or your Father-In-Law or every man she comes in contact with. It seems clear that she is head over heels in love and lust with her husband. Chances are, she probably isn’t as flirty as people make her out to be.

    Also, bickering IS uncomfortable, especially on trips with people. 

    I think your Darling Husband sees a married couple who enjoys being around each other, doesn’t like drama or arguing and who genuinely seem like nice people. I want people like that around me, too.. so I don’t blame him or think he is necessarily being jealous.

    Also- the issue of him putting her/their needs above yours is just a matter of compromise. You need to be flexible, especially when vacationing with others. It isn’t a scenario many couples can handle, so that is why vacationing with another couple can either be the best experience ever or a total bust.

    Last, it doesn’t sound like she is your cup of tea, which is OK. I just wouldn’t rekindle if it is going to cause a massive issue with you and Darling Husband and possibly work on jealousy issues inside your own home, sorry.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think there will be issues again, but as previous posters have said, the issues aren’t because of them, but are because of you two.

    Post # 15
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @Mrs_Amanda:  “It seems like you and your Darling Husband are the ones who may need to have some adjustments.”


    Totally agree.  I don’t think the other couple is the issue at all here.

    It sounds to me like you guys were never really that great of friends in the first place.  And this couple seems to bring out issues between you and your Darling Husband even when you aren’t hanging out (which these things ought to be worked on even if you don’t rekindle the friendship).  Doesn’t seem worth it to me.

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