- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
I apologize b/c I know this is long.
Background: Darling Husband met this couple (him=A/her=B) when he first moved overseas. He hit it off with them b/c they didn’t have kids here and had the same interests as him…camping, motorcycles, etc.
1) Both are previously married…he has kids back in the states but she doesn’t. She desperately wants them but he’s fixed and has been stalling on a reversal for years.
2) Pretty sure they hooked up (they worked together) while separated if not married…I know he was. Due to their circumstances, they have become super religious and very “clingy” w/one another…she’ll do things w/him most women wouldn’t just so he’s never away from her.
3) They are both good-looking…but I think they have insecurity issues. She’s a former fitness competitor and very concerned w/her looks. At our former overseas base, ALL the women disliked B. She’s very touchy feely w/her Darling Husband and VERY into praising him to everyone. She was the only woman at her previous job and the men (even married) constantly flirted w/her.
4) We all moved to the same overseas location within 3 months of each other. A & B work together and there are younger women there so she doesn’t get the same attention she used to. She’s told me she worries that A will leave her for a younger woman (she swears he checks them out) but I’ve told her I’ve never seen it.
Anyways over a year ago, we all went camping. Darling Husband (FI then) and I got into an argument. He was driving to a historical site I wanted to see…everyone else wasn’t interested but went b/c it was something I wanted to do. Darling Husband got lost (for like 15 minutes), said “I can’t find the place, what now?” and drove an hour away to a restaurant A & B wanted to go to. This has been an issue w/them in the past…I’m more into the history/quaint towns of Europe…they’d rather be doing adventure sports. So several arguments have stemmed from “ME wanting to do things that the others don’t want to” <= DH’s words.
That night, B and him were talking (I was between them) and he was happy and smiling. I thought “wow, I’m surprised he’s not mad at me anymore.” So I moved my chair away from the fire and Darling Husband was smiling at B…and actually looking at her the way he first looked at me when we met…with those super lustful eyes.
This went on for several minutes and I couldn’t believe it…B eventually became uncomfortable w/it and we all went to our tents. Darling Husband and I started (quietly) arguing…we left the next morning before they did (they were still packing everything up) and I think they were shocked…not sure if they heard us though.
Since that trip, we’ve traveled w/them once and it was part of a “group” trip. After that, Darling Husband and I were invited by his friend to do a bike trip and A & B wanted to go. We told them the plans (b/c it was already planned by the friend) and they kept trying to get us to change the plans…so they decided not to go b/c we didn’t give in. Later telling us they wouldn’t have enjoyed it b/c they didn’t want to do the things we did.
They pretty much keep to themselves b/c they live an hour from base but they do work in the same location as Darling Husband and I…although I don’t think I’ve seen them in 6 months…no biggie, I figured we all moved on.
The problem now is Father-In-Law is moving here soon…and he met the couple 4 years ago when him and Darling Husband planned a European bike trip…and YES, they went too. Father-In-Law is CONSTANTLY asking about them (he likes that B friendly flirts with him and he thinks she’s good looking) and wants us all to travel the way they did 4 years ago. We’ve (or more I have) tried to tell him they have “moved on” but he thinks we need to rekindle the friendship b/c we have the same interests and NO kids.
Darling Husband will tell me about them (I think he’s jealous of things they do) and it turns into an argument. He thinks I’m jealous of her b/c of the past incident. DH’s married coworkers thinks she’s the best wife EVER b/c she does/goes anywhere w/her Darling Husband and she CONSTANTLY praises him, so the other wives feel “inadequate” around her and yep, I can kinda relate to those women.
Recently Darling Husband found out they have been traveling w/other couples w/kids and he said since they aren’t normally like that (they LOVE kids but like to hang out w/just couples), it must have to do w/the fact that I don’t like them and they sense it. I mean he seriously blames ME for the lost friendship. I’ve told him that B has told me that they dislike being around couples that “bicker”…they don’t even watch movies/shows with “bickering” so I figured that was why they’ve avoided us..b/c we do bicker at times.
So w/all the info I’ve provided, do I attempt to “rekindle” the friendship? I DO like her…she’s the only one my age w/o kids and her and I have a lot in common. Darling Husband likes A and they always wind up buying the same gadgets and also have the same interests. But DH’s jealousy of them as “the super couple” (his words) really makes me NOT want to hang out w/them…like he wishes we were them and I find that really unhealthy! Any advice?