(Closed) Should I respond to this?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@adnama:  I would respond.  I would respond in a “nice” way about how you’re so sorry they can’t make it and that since the headcount is already in, should they change their mind, to let you know because their spots at the tables will now be empty and waiting for them.  This way, they know what they did was wrong without you giving them a lecture about it. 

Post # 4
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@adnama:  I would say let it go. Since you probably already turned in your final counts to your venue/caterer, do you have some single friends that may want to bring a date? At least then someone is there to eat the food you paid for. But this seriously sucks in general. I would just really try to ignore it. I bet you won’t even think of it on your wedding day. Hang in there!

Post # 5
6247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

What I would like to reply:

“What a shame you won’t be able to attend the wedding.  I hope everything is alright seeing as how you made a last-minute decision not to come.  Wish we could have known sooner so we wouldn’t be wasting food but unpredictable events do happen.”



Post # 6
46670 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@futuremrsk18:  has the answer I would use. A little passive aggressive but…

Post # 7
1736 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t respond because at this point, why add anything else to your plate? It sucks that they did this to you so close to the wedding, but nothing you say is going to make you feel any better or change the outcome (and truthfully, they don’t deserve a reply and probably don’t expect one given the late notice).

Post # 9
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Nah, just let it go and hope for a check in the mail.  And if that doesn’t come, just try to move on anyway 🙁

Post # 10
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, that stinks.

I know I probably shouldn’t do this, but I would be very strongly tempted to tweak BayStateBride’s response to something like this:

“What a shame you won’t be able to attend the wedding. I hope everything is alright seeing as how you made a last-minute decision not to come. We do have a number of other friends we were unable to include in our head count – we will try to see if maybe some of them will be able to attend in your place. Enjoy your Saturday!”

Post # 11
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m available on Saturday! 

Have a wonderful wedding adnama! I wouldn’t even reply.  

Post # 12
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I had people do this to me after we gave the venue the final head count. I do find it to be extremely rude. One of the people that did it to me was a cousin who was actually in the midst of planning her own wedding – you’d think she’d know better. Her excuse was that she was having a stressful work week that week. I think I just said, “Ok, thanks for letting me know,” or something like that. Yeah I was a little bit too put off to say more than that. 

Post # 15
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think many of these responses will make you look passive aggressive and petty. You don’t have to respond to the email at all.

Post # 16
9953 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would let it go, or just say, “Thanks for letting us know.”  But how rude and inconsiderate!  So sorry that happened to you.

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