(Closed) Should I respond to this?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

At least they told you in advance instead of just not showing up. I like @futuremrsk18:‘s repsonce, but if you go that route, you can’t offer their seats to +1s as some one else suggested.

Post # 18
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would just say “Thanks for letting us know!” They could have been ruder and not said anything at all. Sometimes life happens and who knows, they may not want to give a detailed explanation of why they can’t come because it could be a very personal reason.

Post # 19
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@futuremrsk18:  I like your reply idea. I’m always all for letting people know when they do sucky things that cost me money! Tongue Out

Post # 20
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Do you really want to have an excuse?  I would have rather not received this one from one of my guests… “The meat my husband ordered is ready for pickup and Saturday is the only day he can pick it up, so sorry we won’t be coming!” – 5 days before the wedding. Laughing

Post # 21
355 posts
Helper bee

@KCKnd2:  Completely agree! I wouldnt be able to not say something, I would be too miffed! That is likely just how I would put it. So so rude of them! 

Since it is already included in your costs, do you have anyone you could extend an invitation to so the food and places at the tables arent wasted?

Post # 22
4675 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would just let it go, what’s done is done.  

Post # 23
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

They’ve not got good manners. Don’t respond. They owe you a cheque to the value of their plates and if you don’t get it, I’d not look on them as friends in the future. If they’re married, they know how expensive weddings are.

Post # 25
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Please don’t send one of those passive aggressive replies… Maybe they’re jerks, or maybe one of their grandparents died and they don’t want to darken your beautiful day with bad news.  Either way you’re not going to teach them some big life lesson with a semi-snarky email and if something bad did happen to them you’ll come off as an even bigger jerk.  Just let it go.

Post # 26
11 posts
  • Wedding: September 2015

First of all, CONGRATS! Have an amazing day!

About the email, I would respond with a simple “Thanks for letting us know, I hope everything is alright. You will be missed, I was looking forward to doing the electric slide with you but I’ll will have to wait until <insert next function here> to dance!”

I wouldn’t even try to allude to the fact that you are still paying for their dinner. Chances are if they didn’t get that in the first place, they wont understand the subtle hint either. Just say how much fun it will be and move on. Or you could wait until after your big day and email them back saying that you really wished they could have been there to enjoy the night and see <mutual friend X> catch the bouquet.

Sorry you have to deal with added stress this close to the big day.

Post # 27
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MissNoodles:  I agree.

Please don’t send any of these passive-agressive replies.  Just say “Thanks for letting us know, we’ll miss you!” and allow one of your single friends to bring a date.  They didn’t give a reason as to why they couldn’t come so I think it’s very presumptious to just assume they are being rude and have no manners.  I get that it sucks because it means lost money and missed friends, but maybe a relative died or is very very sick.  Maybe one of them is very sick.  Or maybe they have a personal emergency that they do not feel comfortable sharing.  I think it’s best just to give them the benefit of the doubt and not risk looking like a jerk.

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