Post # 1
So now that I have told my family, their concerns are starting to surface, and they are busting my happy bubble. Fiance and I really want to get married on an island that is a 5 min ferry ride from Bocas del Toro in Panama, but my Grandma is on oxygen and in a wheelchair and the closest hospital that is up to American standards is about 7 hours away…. annd she is too afraid. I think it would work though and there will be 4 doctors at the wedding!! My aunt and uncle, Fiance, and Fiance’s uncle! I am sure they will all be looking out for her. My mom says grandma is most important, and I love my grandma a lot. I am her eldest granddaughter and we are the closest of all the grandchildren (and I mean that sincerely, I am not just trying to sound special). I really want her to be at my wedding, but Fiance me and the rest of the friends and family are really excited about a destination wedding in Panama on the beach. Do you guys have any ideas???? Please help!
Post # 3
@jessiebean: I’m curious as to how you are going to get your wheelchair bound grandmother onto the beach for the ceremony? Is there any chance you can choose a location that is more accessable for your grandmother but still gives you the destination wedding you would like?
Post # 4
@jessiebean: I dont have any grandparents left but fiance has two left. They will not be able to come to our destination wedding because his grandfather is too old and not well enough to travel. We will be having a ceremony here and legally get married in our home town before the destination so they are able to see us get married (he is the only grandchild so we HAD to do it out of respect for them) We are also having a very small family dinner that they wil attend also.
Post # 5
@jessiebean: oops I posted twice!!
Post # 6
No matter how many doctors you have on hand, you dont have the equipment a hospital has if you need it in a jiffy. If her health is really that bad that she is scared, do you really want her to be 7 hrs from a hospital if the worse case senario happens. You think it’ll be fine, but god forbid something happens, can you forgive yourself for choosing your wedding location over the best situation for your grandma?
Post # 7
If you are genuinely concerned for her health and care to have her there you will have to make another choice. Is there any other beach with a hospital close by that she wouldn’t have to travel as far to? What about having a local ceremony and renewal with just the two of you on the beach? That’s quite a trip for Grandma, I would think it would be very stressful for her and the rest of your family who would be taking care of her.
What I’m learning in all this is that the wedding is for your guests and what is the most comfortable and enjoyable to them.
Post # 8
I would go ahead with your wedding as planned, and do something special with your grandma at home. It sounds like she can’t really travel anywhere anyway.
Post # 9
I totally understand all your thoughts and concerns..
1. My fiance’s family has two cottages right on the beach where it would be, so we can pave a path for her wheelchair.
2. The doctors there will be able to look out for her and prevent something from happening. Make sure she takes her meds and keeps her oxygen on.
3. There are hospitals nearby, but not the best ones. Her main problem is just being afraid. AS long as she takes her meds and has oxygen and wheelchair accessability she is good. She can walk a little, but too much and she just has trouble breathing. I am a severe asthmatic so I understand this.
4. My fiance and I have not been to this island, but he is going to go there and check it out in January to access if it is doable.
5. My grandma does fly to NYC from Florida to visit my aunt and uncle and the flight to the Destination Wedding would be about the same flight time.
With all that said, if she can’t go what are some other options for making her feel included. This is going to be a very intimate and small wedding. Nothing fancy. It will be a wedding and ‘honeymoon’ with friends in the same place. We want it to be like a vacation for everybody who can come. I don’t want to do two weddings… but I could just go visit her before or after…
I am just looking for alternatives. I am not trying to be selfish. I may not have thought of everything yet, so please don’t chastise me for that.
Post # 10
Where can she go? Is her mobility a super limiting factor for anywhere but her hometown?
If you do decide to go with the destination spot, definitely get a good videographer so you can share the wedding with her afterwards.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t do the destination wedding. But that’s just me.
Post # 12
@BooRadley: Well, she does go to NYC to visit family (the doctors). She just needs oxygen all the time. I feel like if she can go there she can go to the Destination Wedding. I really think the problem is more fear than anything on her part. Ohhh good idea, videographer! I do have a photographer, but that is a good idea if she can’t make it. Thank you
Post # 13
@FoxyBride14: I live in Michigan and she is in Florida. Unless I did it in Florida she would have to travel. My side of the family was terrible to me growing up and I actually feel much closer to my Fiance’s family. My grandma wasn’t bad, but she didn’t save me from what I went through either…. so many layers affecting my decision…
Post # 14
It’s not the place that you get married at that makes it special. What makes it special is being able to make a commitment to someone you love in front of all the people you love.
My mums parents passed away a few years ago….my grandma didn’t get to really meet my Fiance (she had alzheimer’s)….I really wish she got to meet him and I really wish my grandparents were alive to see me marry the man I love. You are really lucky to have your grandma around for the special day. You will regret it…if she cant be there due to illness. Don’t make her travel and don’t make it hard for your family. I’m a nurse and no matter how many doctors or nurses are around…if we don’t have the special equipment…we are limited to what we can do.
get married at home in front of your grandma and have a beautiful honeymoon in Panama. If you really want to get married on the beach in panama….why don’t you have a little ceremony with just you and hubby on your honeymoon. It will probably be very special and you could come up with some very personal vows and promises to say to eachother.
Post # 15
@bella128: “What I’m learning in all this is that the wedding is for your guests and what is the most comfortable and enjoyable to them”
I’m sorry but I beg to differ the wedding isn’t for the guests (maybe the reception is), it’s for the the bride and groom. In planning process, everyone kept telling me, “It’s not about them, it’s about you and FH. You can’t make everyone happy.” I totally agree with them! We had an immediate family only and no children allowed DW. Husband’s brother and my SIL couldn’t make it because of the kids. At first ppl were upset (other relatives), but in the end they understood.
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
That is way too far to expect your grandma to fly, let alone it being in a remote place. It’s one thing to take a couple hour flight to NYC in a travel pattern she’s already used to, and it’s another to fly to a remote country. I assume you’ll have to take a boat or a puddle jumper to the island? I wouldn’t ask my invalid grandma to do that.
I think you have to choose between having her at your wedding, or doing it at that location.