(Closed) Should I say something?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Speak up or whatever?
    Tell the guy there are NO festivities and WTF. : (90 votes)
    38 %
    Just ignore the festivities comment. : (16 votes)
    7 %
    Your friend's hair will be fine and you will be fine as well!! : (104 votes)
    44 %
    Your friend should not have pink hair at your wedding -- everyone will stare. : (7 votes)
    3 %
    You had a bachelorette party???? We want to hear about it!! : (18 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    1. Since its your fiances friend I would have him talk to the guy. There must be some confusion/miscommunication if he thinks there are events on Friday so your fiance should clear this up for him.

    2. I would absolutely not ask your MOH to change her hair color. I honestly dont even remember the bridesmaids from weddings I have been to, but I always remember the bride and how pretty she looked. Dont even worry about that.

    Post # 4
    1777 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Clear up the misunderstanding with the friend. It will just be awkward for everyone if you let it go.


    Pink hair is awesome. I wouldn’t worry about it. You’re still the bride who everyone at that wedding has shown up for. Her hair will be of little consequence, as everyone will be there and looking at you!

    Post # 5
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Bostongrl25:  +1

    1. Have your FI talk to his friend and make sure that the friend knows it’s BP only.  You don’t want a terrible awkward situation on your hands if he shows up.

    2. Don’t worry about your friend’s hair!  You’re right, it would be rude to ask her to change it.  People will notice her hair, think “Oh that’s nice/or WTF color hair is that” and then go back to paying attention to you and your H.  It’s really, very hard to steal attention away from the bride.  It’ll totally be fine!

    Post # 6
    7448 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    You asked her with pink hair. You will be the bride no one will care about her. 

    Post # 7
    7272 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @peachacid:  Your man needs to deal with his friend. The friend probably heard about whatever you’re doing with the bridal party from one of the groomsmen. He needs to know it isn’t a free for all.

    You’re right that it would be rude to ask your MOH to change her hair color. You knew her hair was what it is when you asked her. Lighter pink is less shocking than dark/bright pink, so there’s that! 🙂

    Post # 8
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @peachacid:  About N.2- absolutely not okay to ask someone to change their hair.  EVERYONE will be looking at you!

    Post # 9
    6207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    1. Tell the guy he must have gotten confused with another wedding because there are no “festivities” for him to attend on Friday, but that you’re happy he will make it to the wedding.

    2. Let your MOH have whatever hair color she wants since you’re fine with it. No one will be looking at her because they will all be so consumed with watching your and your FI. Don’t worry about her being prettier than you- you will be the only one anyone will want to look at, guaranteed =)

    And bachelorette party?! Please tell!

    Post # 10
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @MeiFrancis:  +1

    Just to reiterate—make sure FI tells the friend that only the wedding party will be part of Friday’s activities.  Otherwise he will probably show up….awwwwkward!

    Your MOH is your MOH for a reason; you love her for her.  Let her have whatever hair she wants.  You are the bride and everyone will be taken away by you. 🙂

    Post # 12
    2970 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014


    1. Tell your guy to clear up the whole Friday festivities issue.

    2. Do not say anything to your BM regarding her choice of style. 

    Post # 13
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Regarding your friend being prettier than you… the bride is always the prettiest. ALWAYS.

    Post # 14
    4525 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014


    1. Nip this in the bud. If you don’t, next thing you know you’ll have non-party family offended they werent included in the festivities when this broad and friend were.

    2. Do not ask your MOH (whose hair you were fine with when you asked her) to change anything about  herself. No one is ever prettier than the bride, and the last thing you need to be worrying about on your wedding day is if one of your bridesmaids is going to out-shine you. I promise all eyes will be on you that day.


    Post # 15
    1966 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    1. I’d just have fi let him know friday festivities are for the bridal party

    2. No one will be paying attention to her. Everyone will be looking at you! Light pink isn’t bad, I wouldn’t worry about it. 

    Post # 16
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    1: Say something, or get your FI to say something.  If he’s not part of the wedding party, he shouldn’t really be involved in wedding party only festivities.

    2: Your friend might have pink hair and ink, but YOU’RE the one getting married.  Unless your friend shows up in a wedding dress, there’s pretty much no way she can upstage you.  You seem secure enough in that decision; it’s another friend who isn’t.

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