(Closed) Should I Say Something?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I say something?
    Say something to your cousin : (13 votes)
    20 %
    Say something to your family, it's their fault too for buying into her drama : (9 votes)
    14 %
    Let it go...let it go! (the cold never bothered me anyway) : (36 votes)
    55 %
    Wait in stealth until someone marries her crazy ass (unlikely) and then act a fool at the wedding! : (7 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 2
    834 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

    QuirkySocialite:  Your gut is right. You need to just move on. I am sorry for what happened but what’s done is done and confronting her isn’t going to help anything. 

    Post # 3
    2943 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014


    QuirkySocialite:  as ammusing as your fourth answer is, you do need to let it go.   If she wants to appologize, she will.  If she is not normally like that, it was probably a really bad day, and she will appologize once she comes to her sense.  If she is normallylike that, she probably wouldn’t see why she was worng. 

    Post # 4
    1467 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I agree with PP, your gut is right. Saying something probably won’t help. Complain to your mom and you sister, try to stay away from her when possible (she sounds awful) and try to spend as little of your energy as you can on being angry about this or anything else concerning her.

    Post # 5
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I do think the best option is to take the high ground and move on,however,i also know i would have to say something to her.I know it cant change anything but really,the dramatics of your cousin was downright rude and to say nothing allows this kind of behaviour to continue. Id definitely want her to know how much her actions pissed me off and then after that vent id move on 🙂 

    Post # 6
    46 posts
    • Wedding: October 2015

    She sounds like a drama queen to me and what do they love the most ….. more drama. You talking to her will only add to the drama she is seeking. No matter how you tell her that her behaviour was inappropriate (which I do agree it was), I bet she will make it into a huge thing and it won’t make you feel any better. The only thing that may happen is someone will have sympathy for her. IMO I wouldn’t say anything to avoid playing into her shit.

    Post # 7
    5376 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2016

    hahahaha I voted for 4. But I think maybe you should have a nice dinner with your family for your anniversary or something and take some nice pics so that you can have some!

    Post # 8
    25 posts

    I would write her a letter explaining your feelings.  Use “I” instead of “you”.  Say things like “I was really shocked and disappointed that…”.  “I was upset that things got so out of hand…”.  “I feel cheated that the events took away from my photos and now I don’t have any.”  She will know that her involvement is the cause of your feelings.  The point of the letter?  To make her aware, make you feel better, and put the ball in her court.  You know what it means if she ignores the letter and doesn’t respond.  And if she does, you can evaluate that too.  Right now you just have an open wound.  It deserves a chance at resolution.  Only she can help you with that.

    Post # 9
    375 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Sending a letter will allow her to pass it around to her friends or family with great drama and self-pity. I think she behaved abominably — but that so did your entire set of relatives who decided to spend time comforting your aunt instead of being with you. I think several people showed their true colors that day, and if they haven’t already apologized, they probably never will. Move on; I’m sure they’ll cause another scene soon. 

    Post # 10
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Im shocked that so many people are telling you not to say anything. While ultimatly you should let it go, i think your’e right by saying everyone is enabling this behavior. I fear by keeping quiet about her scene you are also enabling her to act like this. I would talk to her personally. Use non threatening “I” statements but make it clear that this was unacceptable. Even if she doesn’t want to hear it someone needs to call her out on her selfish behavior. 

    QuirkySocialite:  good luck! Im sure your wedding was beautiful regardless of her actions!

    Post # 11
    7660 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think the bigger problem was your family. Everyone who missed the photos, for whatever reason, was at fault. I would be having stern words with any of those who were missing, the next time I got the chance, if they were people I was close to. Like, forget your aunt and cousin’s family, were you able to get photos with at least your immediate family? If not, I’d fairly upset with them.

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