(Closed) Should I say something to cousins?

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1961 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I don’t think it is your place at all. 

You don’t know the full extent of their relationship, to you it might look like she has done everything for them, but maybe she was a bad mother behind closed doors. Also, everyone handles things differently. They might be handling this the best they can. 

If someone told me how I should have handled my mothers stroke, I would have given them a piece of my mind so fast their head would have spun. 

Post # 3
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Nope. Step back and shut your mouth. You have no idea what is going on beyond what you see on the surface. If YOU want to be invovled, great. You can pitch in. But don’t tell other people how to behave.

eta – And how passive aggressive to call someone and ask their kids to say something to someone elses kids. Wtf.

Post # 4
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
emapples :  stay out of it. But you could step up and be the niece she needs during this time. My father in law just passed from cancer and while my husband tried to be there for everything we lived two hours away so he couldn’t be there for everything and still maintain his job. DH’s cousin stepped up and would cook for Father-In-Law and just come over to hang and be a good companion. If you have the energy it sounds like you have the heart. I’m sorry your family is going through this. 

Post # 5
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I went through something similar when my mom went into surgery this year to remove a tumor. My brother is also in his early 20s and was completely useless. However, if my mom had a problem with him not stepping up to help her than it would have been her conversation to have as much as I wanted to say something.

I disagree with a pp that said maybe she wasn’t a good mother behind closed doors. I think a more likely reason why they would stay away is because it is not easy to see someone you care about no longer to be able to take care of themselves–at least that’s how I felt. Or they can be my brother and just be a selfish human being and people telling him what to do is not going to change that. 

Post # 7
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

View original reply
emapples :  I have to agree with the others to stay out of it.  When my dad passed away suddenly last year, it seemed like I was uninvolved with taking care of his affairs, as my mom did everything.  They were a 2 hour plane ride away and I’m a teacher so there was no way I could take a leave of absence from school.  A couple of my mom’s friends were whispering behind her back about me, but once she got wind, she set them straight.  People grieve in different ways and it’s not for you to judge how involved they should be in her life.  Plus, you’re not there 24/7 to know whether or not they are calling.  You never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Post # 8
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Nothing to do with you, stay out of it

Post # 9
Member
7881 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It’s a sad situation, but I would stay out of it. 

Post # 10
Member
490 posts
Helper bee

I agree. Stay out of it.

Post # 11
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

Yeah, it’s a sad situation, but I’d stay out of it. However, as a previous poster said, if you can and you feel you would want to, you could perhaps help out? I’m not saying you’re not or anything, I just think that would be the better alternative.

Post # 12
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

I’m of the opinion adults don’t need to be told what they “should” do, they are fully aware and it is up to them whether they want to be involved or not. Eveyone deals with things in different ways. 

The topic ‘Should I say something to cousins?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors