(Closed) Should I say something to MIL? Easter dolls are different races.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If it were two white dolls it would still be racial identities. 

Post # 4
Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Well, I agree with FutureMrsMoore… even if she had sent two white dolls, she still would have assigned racial identities to your children.

 

I probably wouldn’t say anything. It was a gift meant in good spirits and I doubt anyone lurked in the background determined to make your children (or you) upset by sending a doll that is the wrong color. Why not order a doll from the same company to your daughter’s liking?

Post # 6
Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If one of your daughters has darker skin, that’s likely why. If it wasn’t a mistake, that is.

Post # 7
Member
954 posts
Busy bee

Maybe she was just trying to get each girl a doll that resembled them?  

Post # 8
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If your husband says it’s not a problem, I’d trust his word on it. Probably Mother-In-Law thought each daughter would enjoy having a special doll that looks like her.

But I can also understand why it bothers you. I live in an area with a lot of racial tension. There are a lot of racial slurs thrown around by the less-educated folks here towards children who are biracial. So when I see someone deliberately pointing out the differences between children just because of the race their looks favor, I get up in arms about it because I’m used to people doing it from a negative point of view.

But like I said above, it seems entirely innocent, and since your husband is fine with it, I don’t think you have anything to be concerned about.

Post # 9
Member
3233 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Ellegee: my question: why does your daughter not like the doll with her name on it? If it is because she perceives it as somehow incorrect or less beautiful because it is darker than her, I’d address that before I even worry about talking to your Mother-In-Law.

Not for nothing, I think it’s sweet that your Mother-In-Law tried to get ethnically appropriate dolls for the girls. It sounds like neither of them exactly match commercial standards for “African American” and “Caucasian” (and you most likely don’t either). I don’t think you should take offense. 

 

Post # 10
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

She probably thought no more of it than picking out a blonde doll for a blonde child or a curly haired brunette doll for a curly haired brunette child. I dont think she meant harm. 

Post # 13
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would think she was trying to get them dolls that looked like them. I wouldn’t say anything, I think she had good intentions. Saying something would probably embarass her. My friend gave my daughter a beautiful “light brown” doll with dark curly hair, she has the same coloring & hair as dd (shes also mixed. About a week later she called & said she hoped I wasn’t offended that she knows she has a lot of barbies & princesses like 95% are very fair skinned & she thought she might like a doll that looked like her.     

Post # 14
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think she was trying to get dolls that looked like your kids – often kids gravitate to things that they identify with (ie look like them), so they’d each have a personalized doll for them. If she’d bought dolls that looked like only one of your kids, she’d still be assigning racial identity, she’d just be picking the one she thought was appropriate. Idk if that was right for her to do without talking to you about, but it seems like her heart was in the right place.

Post # 15
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t your Mother-In-Law have the lighter skinned daughter’s name embroidered on the darker doll? I think that’s why the OP was confused.

Post # 16
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LessIsMoore:  +100

It sounds like she was trying to be inclusive. I think it’s overreacting to say she “assigned racial identities” to your daughters. It seems odd to say that the racial identity of the toys has to match the child.

TBH I would be a little more concerned with what’s behind your daughter’s statement that she “doesn’t like” the AA doll and likes her sister’s better

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