Post # 1
I got married almost 2 months ago now (YAY!) I invited a friend who was unable to make it (which wasn’t really a surprise). She’s getting married this coming weekend and I’m not able to make it to hers.
I want to send her a card and a small gift but I’m torn. She didn’t send me anything – WHICH IS COMPLETELY FINE – but I am afraid that if I send her something she will think that I’m drawing attention to the fact that she didn’t send us anything or that she will think that now she has to do the same.
Help me out here – am I overthinking this?
Post # 2
MsGinkgo: I think sending a nice card would do the trick. It shows that you’re thinking of her, but doesn’t draw attention to her not getting you anything.
Post # 3
two wrongs dont make a right- send a card. If her guilt pangs her that’s her problem!
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
If you want to send a card and a gift I would just do it. Don’t base what you want to do on her actions for your wedding. If she feels a little guilty you got her something when she didn’t get you anything that’s not your fault. You are doing something nice which she should appreciate.
Post # 5
MsGinkgo: just send a card, no gift.
Post # 6
What would you normally do in a situation where you couldn’t attend the wedding?
If you would send a card and a small gift, then do it. As long as it’s coming from a heartfelt place I see no reason why you cannot extend your warm wishes for her wedding.
Post # 7
MsGinkgo: If someone is going to read nefarious intent into a kind gesture then that is their own personal issue.
Send what you like.
Post # 8
MsGinkgo: I would send a card…… not really sure about the gift.
I had a few friends that were unable to attend my wedding. I completely understood why they could not attend. However, none of these friends sent a card. I really was not expecting a gift, but I really thought a card was appropriate. I was very hurt that they could not take the time out to get a card (given the vast amount of stores that actually carry cards these days). Therefore, I make it a point to always send a card for an event that I cannot attend.
Post # 9
Forget that she didn’t send you anything. Do what your heart tells you is right for this friendship. If sending a card and gift makes you feel good, do it.