(Closed) Should I send a thank you note?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yep.  I would say something like “Thank you for going the extra mile and thinking of me!  Breakfast was delicious, and i couldn’t have gotten through the day without it.”

Or something.

Whether or not they gave another gift, those gestures were sweet, thoughtful, and deserve to be thanked 🙂

Post # 4
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I’d say no. They were doing somehing really nice for you, and I’m sure you thanked them in the moment. I think a Thank You note in the mail would be too much, though — if I were your friend, I would almost feel patronized. But keep in mind that I’m weird, and others may disagree. 🙂 

Post # 5
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

yes absolutely

Post # 6
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

“Thank you so much for bringing breakfast/lunch on my wedding day.  It made me so happy – and was something I forgot to plan for!”  Don’t mention that that was a wedding gift – just thank them for the gift.

I wouldn’t worry about them thinking “CRAP I need to bring another gift.

Post # 7
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would still send them something. Even though they didn’t get you a gift, they did go out of their way for you.

My general reasoning for thank yous, if I’m on the fence about sending one, that means I should do it.

Post # 8
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I say yes, thank them for bringing you the food. they probably realized how busy and crazy your day was going to be and wanted to make sure you got something. nobody wants a bride with low blood sugar and passing out!

Post # 9
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would send them one! 

Post # 10
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I love thank you notes and I send them for everything.

 @nyscpa2be:  +1

I had several people come to my bridal shower without bringing a gift, and they got thank you notes. That is because I was TRULY grateful that they took time out of their day to come share some time with me and make me feel loved. I really don’t care about gifts. I think it’s like SubmarinersBride said, just don’t mention a wedding gift in the card. Then it might sound like a solicitation.

Post # 11
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@LittleRiver:  I think definitely yes. It’s not your typical “gift” but I bet it was really appreciated! I actually think it’s a generous gesture, and shows they were really thinking of you and your needs during such a busy/hectic day!

Post # 12
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am with the other Bees on this one.  Definitely a “thank you”.  If I got a thank you not for this, i wouldn’t think “omg, now she wants a gift”

What they did for you is super special and is better (IMHO) because that will be a memory you will have forever.  Better than the towels you probably got that maybe gone by next year.

So definitely, yes:)  It was super duper sweet, unexpected, and probably needed. 

Post # 13
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I say yes! They get a thank you note for both attending your wedding and also for the yummy nibblies! And I, personally, think champagne is an awesome gift and would probably prefer it to whatever I put on the registry!

Post # 14
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

Did they attend your wedding? If so, I think definitely – we had at least 10 guests who didn’t bring gifts or carda but I’m still sending them thank-you cards saying thanks for coming. They went out of their way to be there for you so it doesn’t hurt to write two more thank-you cards.

Post # 15
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

The rule of thumb is you thank for Gifts OR Acts of Kindness

So I would say that YES both of these qualify (and technically in both categories)

— — —

My own personal yardstick when trying to make such decisions … is I am the gal who believes that it is ALWAYS better to Over Thank folks than it is to Under Thank

Hope this helps,


Post # 16
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Quietserenity:  +1


However you word it, I would send a thank you note. I’m silly and since it’s not a physical gift, but a gift nonetheless, I’d probably just write: “Thank you for FEEDING ME!!! And I’m so happy you could share my special day with me! BFF!!!” 😛

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