(Closed) Should I send invites to family who won’t attend?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think that you should mention anything in the invite about how he went on a rant.  Just send them the invite so they know that you would have liked them to be there.  If you really feel the need to mention it, I would probably do it in a conversation outside of the invite.

Post # 4
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Ditto MissAsB

Post # 5
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yes- I sent invites to all of my family members, even if I wasn’t sure they were planning to attend.  People appreciate the gesture of knowing you thought to include them in your day- especially family.

Post # 6
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011 - The Viceroy

Don’t put any notes in with the invitations, just send them as is.  A note would just draw attention to the rant anyway and you’re saying you still want them there with the invite alone.  Just send the normal invitations as you would anyone else.

Post # 7
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with the previous posters. Yes, send out the invites and don’t mention the rant. They will have the option to RSVP yes or no. You could by word of mouth let them know that you would like to have them there too. They won’t be coming to your wedding to see him. They will be coming to see you and your Fiance.

Post # 9
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ditto on what the others said.

Keep in mind – these people will be coming to support YOU.  Most people will put their feelings about the one family member that drives them nuts aside to celebrate such an important event.

Good luck – and I hope your step-father can hold his tongue and keep it together!

Post # 10
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Agreed, just send them as is!  They aren’t obligated to accept the invitation, but it’s not your job to draw attention to the fact that invitations to events are always optional for the invitees.

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