(Closed) Should I send the record back? (long)

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

can you give it to your mutual friend who still seems to have contact with him? that way, you wont have to worry about having direct contact with him or his wife.

Post # 4
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I would send it back.  If it belonged to his dad it’s probably is important to him.  Just write a really light hearted note like “I totally forgot I had this until I found it while packing up to move in with my fiance!  I got your address from ___ because I thought you would like to have it back.  Hope all is well with you and your family!”  The wife should absolutely not feel threatened if you mention that you are getting married yourself and that you wish the whole family well.

Post # 5
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

wow no idea what’s going on with my double posts etc – sorry everyone for having to re-read all my stuff!!

 

Post # 6
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with soon2be – give it to your mutual friend and move on happily with your own life!

Post # 7
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Totally agree with giving it to the mutual friend.  If that’s not a possiblity I would send it with no note and no return address.  I think it is right to send it back – I know there are things that people that I’d rather not speak to (for whatever reason) that have stuff of mine that I’d love to have back!!

I only say no return address if you are worried about him contacting you or his wife asking questions – this way, he can honestly say that he’s not sure who sent it! 

 

 

Post # 8
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I would advise against sending it with no note and no return adress.  Nothing happened so there is no reason to be sneaky.  If I were his wife I would be MUCH more suspicious of such a package than him just receiving something from an old friend.

Post # 10
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

do not send back the record, this is really just an excuse for you to talk to him again and there is no need to open up that can of worms. if he really wanted it back, he would’ve contacted you for it but he hasn’t so let it go.

Post # 11
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’d give it back through the mutual friend as well. There’s really no point in getting his address and risking the record being lost/broke by going through mail when you know someone who sees him.

It’s better not knowing details about where he lives and stuff. You both had feelings for each other and he made his choice, and you moved on… no contact or personal information about each other is better in those situations.

Post # 12
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Whoops – redid my message in a more helpful way below – not sure how this got posted :/

Post # 13
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

ok….does his dad still live near you? if so, do you know where he lives, and if so can you mail it direct to his dad? (since it is his dad’s??)

Post # 14
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’d either forget about it and not send anything, or send it with a really benign note, even a POST-IT with a quick message “I found this while moving and thought you’d appreciate it back! Take care – Name”

 

Post # 15
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ok, well I misunderstood your desire to be anonymous about it (b/c you are going anonymous on a website about it).  So, I’d say just keep it.  You never tried to give it back before, (I’m assuming – could be wrong), so it sounds kinda like you want to reach out and communicate with him.  Which is fine, but either do it up front as an old friend, or leave it alone.

Post # 16
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you don’t want to give it back through a mutual friend, then don’t give it back. You’re not asking anyone to get in the middle, you’re just saying, hey, you know where he is and you see him, I don’t. Do you mind passing this along, it belonged to his dad and I found it recently and I’m sure he’d like to have it back.

Otherwise, I’d just keep it somewhere safe and maybe some day down the line your paths will cross again.

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