(Closed) Should I stay in a relationship after an engagement has been called off?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I stay in a relationship after an engagement has been called off?
    Yes : (3 votes)
    2 %
    No : (123 votes)
    91 %
    Maybe : (9 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    you really can not go backwards, you have to move forward!!  So it sounds like its time to move on!  Are you really going to be happy going from fiance, soon to be wife with soon to be husband to oh im your girlfriend??  you will alwasy be wondering if he will change his mind and you will always be waiting

    I am so sorry 🙁  this is so so hard, you have to put yourself first and do whats best for you!

    Good Luck

    Post # 4
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Regardless of the step back from engagement, someone who Puts you down, wont stand up for you and doesn’t think of you as a team making mutually beneficial decisions needs to go. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    First off I feel for you hon, that is beyond tough.

    I couldn’t imagine going “backwards” when we are geared in life to look “forwards”

    So I agree with what @Future Mrs K: said.  Probably time to move on… it’ll be hard but you can do it.

    Trust me, someday (WHEN anyone knows ?) he’ll grow up and figure out that he made a HUGE mistake letting his Momma run his life as a man.  But by then it’ll be too late… you’ll be happily in love enjoying your life with a man who has never taken you for granted from the first moment he meets you.

    Let it go, Mr Right is out there somewhere, right now looking for an amazing girl like you

    AND he won’t be living at his Mom’s house… or expecting you to move in there (rolls eyes), or having her stick her nose in all your business, put you down etc

    It is tough to start over (( HUGS )) but so worth it when you finally find THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I voted maybe, but I meant no. I clicked the wrong option. I think you are best need some time apart. It sounds like it’s getting pretty destructive. I definitely think you need to be on your own for a bit. Maybe he grows up, maybe he doesn’t. I would spend time trying to find out.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5075 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I wouldn’t be able to, so no.

    Post # 8
    Member
    255 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @CaliHoya:  “I voted maybe, but I meant no. I clicked the wrong option. I think you are best need some time apart. It sounds like it’s getting pretty destructive. I definitely think you need to be on your own for a bit. Maybe he grows up, maybe he doesn’t. I would spend time trying to find out.”

     

    +1.  I read the poll before the post, and I voted maybe, but in this case, I would change my vote to no.  You deserve to have a partner who puts you and your relationship before the opinions of his mother.  He sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do.  I wouldn’t stick around to see how long that will take.  🙁 

    Post # 9
    Member
    5199 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I am going with “no” for the same reasons @SapphireSun provided. I think it is possible for a couple to decide to put an engagement on hold, and stay together, and have a healthy future. But he ended it because his MOM told him too, and he won’t stand together with you as a team. Geez. Unless the guy is anything under 18 (and I say this despite not being exactly “for” young marriages) then his mom has no say in it. That he lets her make his decisions for him and “runs his life” is a big, big motivator for me to say it is time to move on, sweetie.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    He would be kicking rocks

    Post # 12
    Member
    312 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think you need to go. At this point, even if you are in love you are at least treading water, if not moving backward. This doesn’t seem like it is going to change. If eventually you want to be married, it is not going to happen with this guy and he is wasting your time. Sorry this happened. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    448 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    When I read just the poll question, my first instinct was “maybe,” but after reading your whole story, I’m sorry, I’d have to say no.

    I’m so sorry you are going through this.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2494 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Inever like to say things like “call it off”, but after hearing your story, I think it’s time to move o. I’d be afraid of how he would continue to treat you, and possibly even your child.

    Post # 15
    Member
    242 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Nope.  Who wants to be in a relationship with him and his mom?  I think you need to keep it moving, forward that is 🙂  Good luck to you.  Sorry for all of the pain this is causing you.

    Post # 16
    Member
    13 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My cousin actually went through almost this exact situation several years ago. She was young also, 20 or 21. Her fiance at the time turned out to be a HUGE Mama’s Boy. His Mom was a single parent, he was an only child, and she got very jealous that she was about to lose her son to another woman. They were within a month or two of the wedding when the Mom finally convinced her son that he should postpone the wedding. They pushed back the date by a few months (he used stress at work as his excuse), then finally they called it off all together. My cousin decided that if he no longer wanted to be engaged then they shouldn’t be together at all. 

    Today she is very happily married to an absolutely wonderful man and she has two adorable sons. I think she would have been miserable had she stayed with her jerk of a first fiance and his overbaring manipulative mother! The break up was very hard for her (my whole family actually) at the time, but now I think she knows it’s the best thing that could have happened. 

    All this being said, I think you are definitely better off without him. Best of luck in the future! 

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