- 9 years ago
So I came here under a different name because I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I have been in a relationship with an overall great guy but there is so much going on and I don’t know if I should take a bunch of steps back.
Right now we are engaged, I am supposed to move to the U.S under the K-1 visa to be with him. We are almost a year into the process and I am just broken. Everything in my life is going wrong. I have wasted my savings, runined my career prosepects and have put any future career goals on hold so I can be with him.
He says that he loves me and my child as well, and part of me does believe him, but everything feels like its about him. From the begining of the relationship I told him that a career and getting rid of debts (from college) and of course my child comes first, but somehow he found his way in. I lost 2 jobs because of our long distance relationship, dropped out of university and now the highschool grade 12 course I was taking (I needed to go back for a pre-requisite) due to having no money etc for my studies as it was all spent on this relationship.
He thinks that giving me money will fix that I need to be suffieciant on my own, and I partly feel like he is trapping me because he freaks out when I say I don’t want to be with him, or I need a break (note: he continues to say that the money he has spent is “our money”, especially since he considers me his wife and that I don’t owe him anything… yet anyway).
I feel like I am obligated to stay with him because he has invested about $14,000 (not including my e-ring) on this relationship but at the same time its not fair! I never told him to put this much in it. I asked him to wait, let me get established, but no. And he would give me the money saying that if I don’t he can’t live without me which is exactly how it sounds (yes, he is depressed and has serious self esteem issues and he is now seeing a professional, but he is only doing it because of me, not because he has come to terms with his depression).
Another thing was last year he got all weird when I asked to stop being intimate becuase I wanted to get off of birth control as it was interferring with my moods. Obviously I am aware of the risks of pregnancy even with a condom, and I didn’t want to risk getting pregnant especially since we are in a LDR. Long story short, he wanted to run off and and have some stupid commitment ceremony with just him and I (originally this ceremony was supposed to be after we were legally married @ the court house becuase of the visa). I initially told him no, and he was so disrespectful and caused me to leave him for a week and after having my family and friends convince me to do it, I did the ceremony (we are not legally married).
He took that away from me. I wanted my son to be there, to take part of something this important and it angers me.
There is soo much more but I don’t want to make this post any longer than it already is, i just wanted to vent and hear some un biased opinions on this.