(Closed) Should i stay or should i go?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’d be out. He sounds controlling, and with your visa status, that could turn a person that is controlling into a serious nightmare.

A survey that has the question “Have you ever had an abortion?” on it? GET REAL. Revealing sensitive information in a questionnaire?? This dude is whack. Leave.

Post # 4
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wait, so, your boyfriend made this questionnaire for you to fill out?

Post # 5
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

It doesn’t sound like he is fighting too hard to keep you there.

Post # 6
340 posts
Helper bee

I think you should leave and this is why… bc first the questionnaire is really odd. You should both be able to freely ask each other questions and not have to write personal things on paper. That is disrespectful that he sent that to you. It is almost like he is saying if you have done something bad in your past I can no longer love you. You want someone who will love you through thick or thin and accept you for you. He lied and is still in contact with a girl he hooked up with. That is a recipe for disaster. He could easily cheat in the future. I would go to where you can find work and find a love of your life there. This guy seems like a deadbeat. He should have married you a long time ago.

Post # 7
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Confused_bear:   I would leave.  He is not treating you in a very loving way.  You deserve so much better than to be treated like this.

Post # 8
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hmmm, what is this High School ???

Honestly this reminds of a game of truth or dare that GFs around 13, 14, or 15 you’d to play at sleepover Pyjama Parties

“How far did you let ___ get with you… reply (a) for first base… a kiss, (b) for second base… felt you up, (c) for third base… felt you down, and (d) all the way… you did the deed “

This doesn’t sound like someone mature enough to marry, IMO

As has been said here COUNTLESS of times before on WBee by many many women… WHAT YOU’VE DONE IN YOUR PAST has no relativity on WHAT you have in your current relationship.  KNOWING someone’s full sexual history is childish (high school) and meaningless… not to mention degrading.

AND besides writing it down really really worries me… I mean you cannot KNOW WHO is going to show that too… or HOW that information could be used against you !!

And having you change the answers is also kind of wierd… is he planning to send this info off to his family ??  Did he invent the Questionaire or someone else ??


Sounds to me that this guy has a bunch of issues going on.  And being sensitive to your needs or HEARING what you are saying seems to be a MAJOR ONE

Communication and TRUST are the heart of a good relationship.  I don’t think he is exhibiting these skills

So personally, I’d be working on completing the requirements of your Visa and doing whatever it is you want to do with the rest of your life… (BTW I totally understood that… IF you Visa is issued for one specific thing… you cannot do something else with it.  AND DON’T because not only can you be seen as breaking the law & get deported but it can screw up your chances of EVER getting another one, or travelling abroad again)

ANOTHER WORDS… Put yourself first.

Because obviously he isn’t… and may never.

Sorry, I know this must be difficult to come to terms with… (( HUGS )) but in the long run I think you’ll be better off without him, because I do see OTHER RED FLAGS in this topic, that tell me that this isn’t a mature & healthy relationship that will be good for the long run



Post # 9
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Confused_bear:  Go. 

He’s humiliating you and seems to be enjoying it. A REAL MAN would have stepped up to the plate and would not only have a ring on your finger but a date and would NEVER have given you that questionarre, what an *** sweetie. I don’t enjoy being so blunt but it really makes me sad to see where you are; I don’t want you to be there anymore! 

Post # 11
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

First it was a questionnaire of relationship that i had to fill out. Some of them are pretty insulting (like have you had an abortion, can you respect my family).

WTF! seriously that is too much. id just leave that is insulting.

Post # 12
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If he is the one who came up with the questionnaire idea, he is not marriage material. He wanted you to talk about personal information without emotions…that’s weird. Add to that the whole lying issue and it sounds like you’re dating an emotinally immature player. I doubt he’ll grow out of this in the amount of time you have left.

Post # 14
62 posts
Worker bee

Urggghhhh he’s a D***

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