(Closed) Should I stay or should I go?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 77
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Oh I’d leave as soon as I could if I were you. You’re not married yet and he’s already entertaining the idea of divorce to be with this other woman. That’s a HUGE red flag. In fact, that’s beyond a red flag. That is a siren going off telling you to abandon ship with this relationship. I wouldn’t leave him the ring though. Maybe a print out of the convo between the two of them and a short letter saying that you deserve better. Pawn the ring and treat yourself to a spa day or something.

Post # 78
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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@thisbeeisbroken:  good for you! you’re being really strong and although it obviously doesn’t seem like it now, better times are ahead

Post # 79
Member
2089 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@peonyinlove:  Very well said!

Post # 80
Member
2089 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@thisbeeisbroken:  It’ll take time, lots of time, but you will see that you did the right thing. He doesnt deserve you. He deserves the b*tch who he was having the conversation with. Both disgusting people 

Post # 81
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@thisbeeisbroken:  he will eventually try and call. Just don’t even answer. I am so very sad for you. He’s an awful human And you deserve better than that.

Post # 82
Hostess
11050 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@thisbeeisbroken: WTF. Sorry you saw it but at least you know the truth now and not after, GO! And hold your head up DAMN high

Post # 83
Member
467 posts
Helper bee

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@thisbeeisbroken:  Good for you!  Honestly, your post made me cry. I know it must have been so so hard to leave.  But you are sooooo BRAVE for doing this.  Many women on this board wouldn’t have had the courage.

I also love that you took the pets.  You ex-FI is a douchebag who doesn’t deserve them.  

I wish you the best.  You will find someone who deserves you.  In the meantime, find comfort in your friends, family and furbabies.    

Post # 84
Member
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m so sorry.  I know it’s hard because all of this ‘stuff’ has been done (save the dates, house etc.) But none of that is irreversible and even if you end up losing some money it’s better than being plagued with doubts and heartache. You have every right to be angry. Make SURE you copy that email as evidence.  Your real friends and family will understand.

Post # 85
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I am so sorry. But you did the right thing by leaving. As hard as it is now, it will get better. At least you found that convo before being married.

 

you deserve so much more and it will get easier. Hang in there girl!

Post # 86
Member
1397 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@thisbeeisbroken:  Ugh. I’m so sorry this happened to you. GOOD FOR YOU for being strong enough and brave enough to leave, though! You did the right thing. There has been too much betrayal here to even consider rebuilding. I know it hurts to give up his family, mutual friends, the wedding, etc., but in the end it’s the best decision. After you rage and cry and greive, YOU WILL BE FINE! You’ll move on and have a great life, probably with someone MUCH more deserving of you than this jerk. And your ex will still be an ass. If he winds up with this girl, I feel sorry for him. She a manipulator and a bitch. They deserve each other, I suppose. Just remember to stay strong if he comes crawling back. *Hugs* to you.

Post # 87
Member
11391 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

sweetie, I am so sorry but so proud of you. And I’m so glad you took the pets! Take it from me, you have done yourself a good deed here, and saved yourself a nightmare in the future. Be good to yourself, and keep reminding yourself that you are worth being cherished and adored. You will find someone who makes you feel that way. Your heart will hurt, and you will be in shock for A while. I know it hurts that he hasn’t even tried to contact you yet, but this is not a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of his character. 

Eta: I agree that thus woman played him, and he fell for it, which means his karmic retribution will come when he hooks up with her and realizes that he threw away a wonderful woman for a cheating, lying, manipulator. Water rises to its own level. 

 

Post # 88
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee

I would leave in a heartbeat and never look back. Wow. Get out, get out, get out.

Post # 89
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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@thisbeeisbroken:  Saw your update. I’ll be praying for you in this time, I cannot imagine how difficult and hurtful it feels. But I think I stand with the rest of the bees that you have made the right – and a very brave – decision. All the best to you.

Post # 90
Member
4304 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You did the right thing.  This guy doesn’t even give a fk about having a real marriage with you, and thinks it’s a joke.  No. 

And then having to live with him while trying to trust him when this girl’s mom moves in town?  

GOOD FOR YOU.  Stay strong.  

Post # 91
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@thisbeeisbroken:  I’m so sorry you’re going through this :'( my heart is breaking for you. I’m not going to tell you what to do (even though I HATE it when people say that) but I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers. *hugs*

EDIT: Just saw that you left. I can’t say I know how hard it is, but be strong. We’re all here for you!

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