(Closed) Should I stay or should I go now? (long…but I need help)

posted 6 years ago in Home
  • poll: Where should I live?
    With FI's mom, it's only for 6 months after all : (6 votes)
    10 %
    With my parents, even though FI won't be there everyday : (29 votes)
    47 %
    With parents before wedding, with FI's mom after the wedding : (16 votes)
    26 %
    Other-please explain (any and all suggestions are welcome!) : (11 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    In this situation, I think you might do better storing things at his mom’s place and renting a cheap, temporary apartment. I can’t see you being happy or even comfortable living in such a small space at his mom’s and it seems that both of you living at your mom’s is not an option.

    Post # 4
    1432 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Definitely definitely definitely move in with your mom.  You’ll get to see your Fiance every weekend, which is great, and you won’t have to live in chaos.  I think that your mental well-being is more important than getting to snuggle with Fiance every night.  And it’s temporary.

    Personally, if I’m not happy with where I’m living, that bleeds out into every other facet of my life. I get cranky, anxious, tired, and angry…  And if you have OCD, I bet that feels a million times worse…


    Post # 5
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Can’t you store your things in a storage facility. A lot of them are very inexpensive. Therefore you can store all your extras that you don’t need and just think in February you will have a brand new house!

    Post # 7
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @cant.wait.to.be.mrs.d:  Move in with your mom. Neither situation is ideal, but I think that it is a disaster waiting to happen if you move in with your future inlaws. It could get very awkward and I could not handle the situation you describe. Wedding planning there also might be a nightmare. Too many cooks in the kitchen type scenario!

    It’ll suck not to spend each night w. your Fiance, but I think it’ll be sort of romantic… you can miss each other. All the more reason to look forward to your wedding, right?

    Post # 8
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @takemyhand:  That is a great suggestion.

    To be honest I’m thinking that if you’re cramped in that tiny little room in your in law’s house that it may not be the best thing for your relationship. My husband and I lived with my mom after we got married in her garage because our apartment move in date was a month after our wedding and it was pretty much torture. I think if you can have a place where all your things are organized and you feel good about your space then your fiance and you will be in a good place in your relationship, as well. Is renting a small space near your mom’s house an option? That way you can store the majority of your things there but still have separate living space with your fiance? If it’s not I’m going to vote that you stay with your mom. Can he move in there too? Living apart after living together might be tough but I think it’s doable, he sounds committed to making that plan work and I think your relationship will thrive when you feel happy with your surroundings, as opposed to you guys living together but being in a really uncomfortable and unhappy situation.

    Post # 11
    9139 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    A stressful living situation is horrible and I have been in a few.  It’s very stressful on you and your relationship with your SO.  That said, I learned a lot about myself and my Fiance when we lived in a stressful living situation.  We both learned how clean we like things and that we both hav epride in how our home appears to others.  Yes, there were fights but they were always fair and we learned each other’s fighting styles (while I prefer to cool off and take a bath to calm down, Fiance wants to get everything out in open and over with quickly so we can move on.)

    There are pros and cons to both.  I like your compromise suggestion of before the wedding with your parents and after the wedding with your Fiance because you will probably want to be with him after you’re married but it saves you some of the stress of living with his mom.  But that is a lot of people and personalities to be living with while at his mom’s house and it’s not the more the merrier in tight living situations.  You could always try it out for a month or two and then go live with your parents; that way your Fiance could see how stressful it is for you but you cared enough to try it out.

    Post # 13
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Sorry about the damage to your things in storage. Since you can’t store anything and have 4 dogs to worry about I would recommend living at your moms then. Even after you get married it doesn’t sound like you could just move into his mother’s house then to be together. It is going to suck not living together once you are mariied but as long as you keep telling yourself its only for a few months then you can do it.

    Post # 14
    1446 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Well, I don’t know what you should do but the last thing I would do is move in with your FI’s family. I’m only saying that because to save money before our wedding my Fiance and I rented a basement from another family. I was so incredibly unhappy there. I am a neat freak and the clutter literally drove me to tears sometimes. The kitchen would be such a mess that I couldn’t even cook in there so we blew so much money going out to eat. I totally understand not wanting to live in a cluttered space so I say definitely don’t move into the garage!

    Post # 16
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    All I can say is this: If you stay it will be trouble, if you go it will be double.

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