Post # 1
Me & my boyfriend have been together for a while now and i recently found messages that he has sent to another girl. Some very disturbing things. The bad thing is that he is deployed and in Afghanistan. Miles and miles away. When i confronted him about the messages he acted like he had no idea what i was talking about and that someone else might have sent the messages. He finally told the truth and apologized and said he would never do it again & that he loved me and wanted to be with only me. I made him message the girl and tell her the same thing. I just don’t understand why he did it. He said to me it was because when he needed someone to talk to she was there and i was always with my friends and didn’t answer when he called but really i’m not even with my friends all the time. I really love him and want to be with him but the crazy thig is, he hasn’t even been gone a whole month and something like this has happened. I let him know that i will not put up with this and not to long ago i asked for a day or 2 to think. I really don’t think i can do it though. I hate going one day w/o hearing from him. I just want to know if i should ride this thing out, but he’s going to be gone for 9 months, 9 MONTHS UGH that just makes me mad to know. I just think something will probably happen again. Him and the girl he messaged are deployed together which is why i think that. When you tell a girl “hope i get to see you in a few” or “you want to chill since you’re not sleepy” OR “from what i’ve seen you’re pretty much all im looking for in a woman and there’s still more i have to find out…” He said all that he said was just “words”. I’m so hurt & i’m tired of arguing about this situation. I just want to belive everything is going to be alright. Should i stay or go ???
Post # 3
I wouldn’t stay but who am I to advise anything? I’d be a total hypocrite if I told you to leave.
Post # 4
If it was me? I would leave! I wouldn’t be waiting around for someone who can’t even be exclusive with me or handle times apart ( considering its part of his profession).
but like always, we don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship. Its hard to say. If you feel like you deserve better, you’re probably right.
Post # 6
It’s my experience that if you have to ask this question, you already know the answer.
Post # 7
Its hard to judge someone elses relationsjip but ultimately,I would leave. What he said to the other girl arent just “words” because theyve hurt you,and jeapordised your relationship together. I wouldnt be able to trust him again,sorry
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
I wouldn’t stay… how long have you been together? The things he’s been messaging to this girl sound super suspicious. I guess it depends on how strong you believe your relationship is… but remember to do what is best for you, not what is best for “us”.
Post # 9
Honestly…I would probably leave. Especially if he’s deployed with her thousands of miles away. I’m sorry that you’re going through this…it’s a really crappy thing for him to do to you while he’s so far.
Post # 11
wow im so sorry this is happening to you. The thing that would bother me the most is that he’s over there with the girl!
It’s easier said than done, but I think I would leave.
Post # 12
Leave. None of this is ok at all. I was engaged to a Marine for 16 months and did not see him the entire time because he was overseas. He had a phone in his room, he could call and he would often go on FB but would never reply to my messages, or send me mail back even though I wrote him often. I’m not sure what it’s like overseas, I am sure it’s not pleasant…but it doesn’t give the guys rights to act in such a way. Long story short, he broke up with me over FB. So I spent that 16 months planning a wedding and doing absolutely nothing, to only hear from him once every couple of months or so. I know this situation isn;t exactly the same as yours, but the point is…if it’s going this way for you guys right now…it’s probably only going to get worse. I have 110% respect for men and women in the service, but 0% respect for the civilian in them who can treat people like complete shit. Move on, you will find someone who respects you.
Post # 13
Honestly, I would be protective of yourself and your heart. We tend to ignore our instincts in situations like this and lead with our heart but somtimes its better to take a step back and use your head. I think if you dig deep enough you can find answers on the right move to make.
If its meant to be it will be whether its now or when he gets back from deployment but if it were me i would save myself the heartache down the road and let this one go.
Post # 14
aw Im so sorry but the whole “from what i’ve seen you’re pretty much all im looking for in a woman and there’s still more i have to find out…” is too far in my opinion and that is not just words, he is basically telling her she is the woman he wants to be with and I would leave it at that. You can find someone who feels that way about you and only you
Post # 16
It kind of sounds to me like you’re going to stay but that you know you shouldn’t so I’m not sure what to tell you. Early twenties me might have stayed but late twenties me would be all like, “OH HAELLLLL NO!” Only you can make the next move, but I think there’s a lot better out there for you.