(Closed) Should I stop planning everything until after the proposal?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
347 posts
Helper bee

Don’t put all your plans on hold! He might be waiting for you to give him ideas of what you want to do and then build on top of your ideas to make it just what you want! If you put all your plans on hold, he might start to wonder if you’ve got cold feet. For us, it wasn’t until after we started planning our upcoming vacation this summer that my partner started getting ideas. He was a bit unenthusiastic when we weren’t sure what we were doing on vacation, but he did know he wanted to propose on our trip. After we firmed up plans, he started saying stuff like, “I have some ideas, I’ve got some plans” and mentioning talking to our friends about it. 

Plus, he might already totally have something planned so you might be holding off on your party/weekend plans for nothing!

Post # 3
Member
2482 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m 2 months out, and I wish I had started at least the research phase earlier. There was an 8 months span of time where I KNEW we were getting engaged, but didn’t do any planning – and boy do I regret that now!

You don’t realize how many hours and hours of research go into each decision until you’re in the thick of planning. If you can start on that research NOW, go for it!

Just don’t sign any contracts or make any payments until you are officially engaged.

Post # 4
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

I agree with Duchessgrummybunns, Research is fine but don’t actually plan anyting wedding related until after the proposal: Like venues or cakes or dresses… I mean look at cakes and venues and dresses but don’t sign anything yet.

Post # 5
Member
2099 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Why should you ignore your birthday?? Continue on with life as you normally would.

Post # 6
Member
2468 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m assuming he knows you love planning things for holidays, birthdays, etc… so my instinct is that he won’t pick one of those days because he knows you’ll probably already be planning something.  Go ahead and life your life as business as usual.  Don’t put your life on hold in hope he’ll propose on a specific day.  You’ll only be disappointed. 

Post # 8
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

go about life as normal, it will be way more fun if you aren’t expecting it anyway. 

personally I would hate to be proposed to in an obvious way (christmas, valentines day, birthday)…..why take away from a day that is already special, do something freaking original lol. 

Post # 10
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

Just continue life as normal. If you don’t do something for your birthday with the hope he’ll propose…and he doesn’t…you’ll end up being angry/upset when really he hasn’t done anything wrong. 

You can’t put your life on hold waiting for a proposal. 

He will just have to work around your plans 😜

Post # 11
Member
8 posts
Newbee

Oh my gosh this sounds like me! We seriously talked about in january then picked out a ring. I didnt plan anything for valentines day because he was being kinda secretive and it didnt happen. Now my birthday is the end of april but hes being wishy washy again. I dont know what to think! Sorry for the confusion bee, im going through it too!

Post # 13
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Kentwood, MI

svargas :  it’s so funny bee, my birthday is April 18! I’m really hoping for my ring too. I’ve already got a dress idea picked out, my colors, my church and pastor ready when the date comes, and I have an approximate number of people to budget for. I wanted to start planning last year as I got accepted into a specialty program last August and will be graduating June 14, so the proposal got pushed back to sometime this year. I’m taking my certification test on April 14 and wait about 2-3 weeks for results. When I pass, my man KNOWS how badly I want my ring so I can start planning our wedding. We’ve been dating long-distance for 3 years.  Hope we ALL get our rings soon!

Post # 14
Member
8 posts
Newbee

svargas :  Mine is april 23rd so about a week later! Its such a funny coincidence. Thanks for the kind words, it does make me a little crazy since we talked so much about it but then it seems like im just waiting all of a sudden and its been longer than i expected. Im hopping that its even sweeter this way because its more of a surprise! I think its such a big deal for guys and for some reason they take forever.

Post # 15
Member
8 posts
Newbee

princessg56 :  yeah i get that. I bet we are all so close and just have to wait a tiny bit longer. We have been waiting because we were both in grad school and then he was unemployed for a while so he didnt want to propose till we were settled. Good luck finishing up school! Let us know what happens!

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