(Closed) Should I tell my FI how many partners I’ve had?

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: How many partners have you had?
    1-3 : (87 votes)
    40 %
    4-6 : (42 votes)
    19 %
    6-10 : (32 votes)
    15 %
    10-20 : (33 votes)
    15 %
    20-30 : (10 votes)
    5 %
    30-40 : (10 votes)
    5 %
    50+ : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    that’s a recipe for disaster. keep the past in the past. no need to open up a can of worms 😉

    Post # 4
    Member
    2459 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I would tell, but I know it would be better not to, My Darling Husband was 24 when we started dating so I know he had a good 6-8 years of girls before me, he wont tell me how many, at first it infuriated me but I dont care now, prob for the best I dont know. I had only had one sexual partner before him, and he knew him so no secret there

    Post # 5
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think this depends on your relationship.  If you are completely open with each other about these sort of things, then why not.  But if you’ve chosen to keep it to yourself all this time, then there must be a reason.  Maybe you feel that your Fiance will be intimidated by the number or that he may judge you.  I don’t know.  

    My Fiance and I have always been very open about our sexual pasts so there was no hesitation when discussing our numbers.  But if I felt any sense of him being uneasy regarding hearing any details of my life before him, them I would have kept it to myself.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    No.  There is no need to give a number.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We’re honest, but we’re the type of couple where we’re very open about our pasts.  Is there a reason you haven’t told him the exact number (it sounds like you’ve given him a fairly close range)?  I don’t think it’s necessarily bad to share or bad not to share. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4803 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I don’t think it’s a bad idea but it depends on your relationship.  If my bf asked me, I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable lying about it.  We have told each other, and his is a large number.  It didn’t really bother me much though, what’s in the past is in the past.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1767 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I would personally tell him, but Fiance and I have a really open relationship. I’d just be concerned that he’d find out way farther down the line and feel weird about it after you were already married, or something.

    Post # 10
    Member
    634 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Fh and I have no problem discussing this at all. We openly talk about ex’s and our past sex lives, it’s a non issue for us. He knows my number and I know his, I don’t understand what the big deal would be if you told him…?

    Post # 11
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

    It’s up to you, but I always go with the “Don’t ask a question you’re not prepared to hear the answer to!” way of thinking!

    Post # 12
    Member
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’ve only been with 1 before my Fiance and he knows of that.  He however won’t tell me..but i’m think the number is between 4-6.  Though he’s quite a ladies’ man prior to meeting me..so i’m not surprised if it’s higher.  It’s no big deal to me..it defintely irked me a little at the beginning…especially when I heard on the radio that one guy had 1000+…now that’s just gross!

    Post # 13
    Member
    609 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Me & Fiance had this talk years & years ago when we were in our early 20’s. We broke up for a few years in between & he moved to another state… There is no way I want to know how many he added to that number in that small amount of time. Nor do I think he’d really want to know either. I think it just spells disaster.

    Post # 16
    Member
    654 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I personally don’t see the point of going there.  As long as we’re both disease free and monogamous, I don’t care how many there were before me.

    The topic ‘Should I tell my FI how many partners I’ve had?’ is closed to new replies.

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