Post # 31
Update: After the first few replies I decided to tell my fiance (I didn’t think so many people would respond, wow). He said that he honestly thinks that his friend didn’t realize how creepy that came off, but that he will definitely talk to him because it is never okay for me to feel uncomfortable or for him to touch me without permission, regardless of it is about fitness or not. He also said if anything were to happen again to tell him right away because I am more important than any friendship he has.
Also, to clarify some things that came up: 1. The hug wasn’t creepy because I am a pretty affectionate person once I get comfortable with someone, so I hug all my friends hello and goodbye. I’ve hugged him plenty before. 2. The breastfeeding incident was totally my fault, I only brought up the comments because I wasn’t sure if this incident in conjunction with those comments made his intent seem different. We were at his apartment and him and my boyfriend (at the time) were playing video games while me and his girlfriend were cooking dinner. While it was in the oven I asked her if she was comfortable with me breastfeeding there or if she preferred I went somewhere else because I never used a nursing cover (awkward to use and took up too much precious space in my diaper bag) and she was fine so I sat in the chair in the kitchen. He came out to see if dinner was done and immediately turned back around once he saw me.
Post # 32
Thanks for the update.. Again I want to say from my perspective that comments about your breast regardless of whether you were breastfeeding or not are inappropriate. No one should touch you without invitation. Glad you spoke to your Fiance about it and made him aware of it.
Post # 33
vblanch: Glad to see your update. Your man sounds awesome. Perfect response to your concern.
Post # 34
Thanks for the responses everyone, and yeah, MsBeer, I’m pretty lucky to have him 🙂
Post # 35
I’m glad you’ve got this in hand. This guy does sound like he’s got a bit of a pregnant lady fetish…
Post # 36
The next time anyone (male, female, martian, whoever) attempts to touch you without your explicit consent, the Dowager Duchess’ expression is perfect for the ocassion:
Post # 37
vblanch: Yes, I’d tell him. Unless your Fiance is a jealous maniac or something? I’d tell him the same way you told us, “this happened it it made me feel uncomfortable. You know the guy, what do you think?”
You guys might decide that this is enough to cut this guy off. Or your Fiance might decide to have a conversation with him (since it’s his friend) to let him know that’s not cool. Or you might decide that you aren’t quite sure what to think of it and your Fiance won’t leave you alone with him, just in case.
Post # 38
I would give him the benefit of the doubt since he’s been known to make weird comments and in front of your Fiance.
However I would still mention this to your Fiance. You felt uncomfortable and your future husband should be aware.
Post # 39
claroquesi: This is AMAZING! Laughing so hard
Post # 41
ClaudiaKishi: It’s not like he grabbed her boobs or said ‘Hey babe how about you cheat on your hubby with me’. Yes, what he did was a bit creepy and it wasn’t okay that he made her feel uncomfortable, but it’s very unlikely that he was actually hitting on her. She’s not only pregnant, she’s also the Fiance of his friend, AND he’s a fitness coach, which is probably why he behaved the way he did. Again, NOT okay, but I still think it’s unnecessary to tell her Fiance.
Post # 42
claroquesi: Hahaha, that is so perfect! God, I love it. For sure, I will!
Post # 43
I’ll never understand people who need to contemplate telling their FI/husband stuff like this, let alone people who say “Don’t tell him!”. I tell my husband everything. I probably would’ve woken him up right then and there if I were in OP’s situation. What difference does telling him make? So you don’t tarnish his precious little friendship with creepster? I don’t see the need in hiding anything here. If she’s worked up enough about it to post to an internet forum, it’s worth the conversation with her Fiance ( ya know, the man she’s marrying?). If she absolutely didn’t think twice about this interaction, barely noticed it, didn’t give it a passing thought – no, she doesn’t need to run to her Fiance with every tiny detail of any human interaction she has that doesn’t effect her. “Oh honey, just to let you know, I shook the hand of a business associate today. Thought I’d give you a heads up” — not worth mentioning. “Hey babe, ___ and I had an interaction last night that made me really uncomfortable. He touched me and made inappropriate comments and it freaked me out. I don’t know if he was hitting on me but I felt really uneasy about it” –totally worth mentioning.
Post # 44
He was hitting on you. Disgusting.
Post # 45
vblanch: ewww tell your Fiance and avoid the creep!