(Closed) Should I tell my fiance or was this nothing?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
16 posts
Newbee

SoonAsYouCan:  She asked for our opinion and this is mine. I accept your opinion, but I also won’t change mine. I can also talk about anything with my man, it’s just that to me, the situation sounded pretty harmless, so no need for telling him. Now that she did, it’s fine too.

Post # 47
Member
3065 posts
Sugar bee

lanvin19:  

I would freeze if someone gave me that stare!

Post # 49
Member
3065 posts
Sugar bee

vblanch:  

I think it does come in handy for several other ocassions!

Post # 50
Member
2509 posts
Sugar bee

Whether it was a big deal or not you should always feel comfortable telling your Fiance these things. Especially if it made you uncomfortable.

 

Edit: Sorry just saw your update! Seems like you have it handled.

Post # 51
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

vblanch:  Go with your gut.   I think this guy is overstepping.  However, he thinks it’s okay because you haven’t put him in his place.  I would let your fiance know what happened and I would also tell him that it is making you feel uncomfortable.  I would tell the friend too that it makes you uncomfortable.

 

Oppps – I read it now – glad you told your fiance.  Any response from the friend?

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  LaurieW.
Post # 52
Member
836 posts
Busy bee

EDIT: Nevermind

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  elephantear.
Post # 53
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I always put myself in other position… how would you feel if the tables were turned…

one of your friends said/did something like that to your Fiance – would you want him to tell you?

You know the answer…

Post # 54
Member
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Garden

If it happens again then tell him up front that you don’t like that stuff and it needs to stop. You’re getting married and his friend needs to back off. No touching no getting close. Even if you do know him and you think he’s a good friend. Is he having a hard time finding a girl or does he already have one? Maybe its just his personality…..

I used to have a friend who tells perverted jokes but I had to let him go because it was getting uncomfortable since I am engaged and my Fiance asked me to keep my distance. He did the right thing moving away from me even if I knew that guy for 3 years before I met my Fiance. But my former friend found himself a great gal and the preverted jokes stopped.  😉

But in your case this guy is your FIs friend. And you can’t really get away from him if he comes over once in a while. Just don’t be alone with this guy whatever you do. And like I said if it happens again after clearly telling him to stop, then you tell your Fiance you feel uncomfortable around him. 

Post # 55
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

vblanch:  1. I’m glad your Fiance is handling this appropriately.

2. From your post, it sounds like he’s got a thing for pregnant ladies. That in and of itself is nbd.. but touching you and whispering yeah in your ear?! Ewww

3. What personal trainer eats fudge? Lol.

Post # 56
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Any unwanted touching is a violation of personal space and is by law considered (sexual in your case) assault. 

Post # 57
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

This guy sounds like a creep, and they thrive on these micro-aggressions that put them in the realm of plausible deniability. I mean, making comments about your breasts while breast-feeding? Gross! You should definitely tell your Fiance that he made you feel uncomfortable.

Post # 58
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

vblanch:  Tell your fiance, and never have that creep over your house again. He crossed a line. EDIT: OK, I saw the update, that seems good.

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