(Closed) HELP, Should I tell him???

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I tell him?



  • Post # 3
    4885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Nah, don’t say anything and just let your past be your past.   If it comes up in conversation just say you didn’t even think to mention it because it was so long ago and didn’t think it was a topic of interest.  If you bring it up it might seem like you still have feelings about it/him and put your dude on edge next time everyone gets together.


    Just think about it: what would you prefer if the situation were reversed?

    Post # 4
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think it could possibly create some drama that is not needed. If you don’t see his cousins all the time, don’t bring it up. If this person didn’t mean anything to you, don’t bring it up. Guys usually don’t get as upset over someone you were in a relationship with as much as they do with someone you slept with. Does that make sense? It could make him uncomfortable and jealous and if it was that long ago, it doesnt need to be mentioned.

    Post # 5
    211 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    NOT making assumptions about YOU – but about all women LOL! – and if you bring it up, you’ll say too much, and it’ll sound awkward, like, “ok… yeah, so, why is it that important?” It’s not. So leave it alone. Uncomfortable situation, indeed, but just leave it in the past. congrats on your long happy relationship 🙂

    Post # 6
    2095 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Personally I think you should just let him know. I think it would be better coming from you. If someone else were to tell him or even coming from your exes mouth. How would it make him feel? I think in this case it is a matter of what you think he would prefer.

    Post # 8
    5398 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I personally would tell him, but I think I’m in the minority. A lot of ladies are of the mindset it doesn’t matter. I know my SO would be hurt if he found out from second else. 

    Post # 9
    15066 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’d tell him too.  It was years ago before him, and it doesnt matter, but it obviously popped into mind.  Not telling would be more like actively trying to hide it if you debate if you should or not and decide not to. 

    Post # 11
    7288 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think an important part of a healthy relationship is brining up and discussing “uncomfortable” things.

    Now, in reality I guess you could say its non of his business, but because you do care about the information coming to him from a person other than yourself, its probably best to go ahead and do it yourself. Better safe than sorry!

    Post # 12
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would tell him, but that’s only because I know I would want to know if I were in his shoes.

    Post # 13
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I would tell my husband.

    I might not tell him over dinner but if we showed up at an event and he was there I might pull him over to the side and say, “Husband, I just saw that a guy I had a fling with x amount of years ago is here. Just wanted you to be aware.” Then, in case someone says something stupidly, you husband wouldn’t be totally blind sided.

    I think it gives it more importance if you agonize over it and then say something to him randomly when it’s just the two of you, I could see how that might be awkward and blow it out of proportion a little. Then it seems like you’re attaching a degree of importance to it. 

    Post # 14
    4429 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @SamanthaLovesJames id tell him. it is your past but it has come to bite you in the ass unfortunately and now its close to home. i would want to know if the shoe was on the other foot. i would feel like a fool if no one told me. id feel insecure like there was something more to it and things were being hidden from me with the “unknown” thing.

    not that i would care but id want to know now that there is a chance id bump into that person.

    you dont want your hubby to feel like a fool do you?

    caz i would feel like a fool and id feel like there was something to hide for the face that i was not told. you dont want to mess with his trust in you!

    Post # 15
    1623 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I would tell him.  If I were him, I’d be embarrassed if one of my cousins said something to me and I had no idea.

    Post # 16
    637 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    if it’s that old…I think you can casually tell him oh your cousin asked me the other day if I knew this guy, and it turns out I knew him and dated him for a little while…


    I think it’s better to let him know than have him hearing it from someone else at family gathering…then he will think you are hiding something if the cousin mention “oh yeah I mentioned to (you) and she confirmed…”


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